Anyone's dp weekly commute?

[santaslittlepeatbogelf]

We might be moving back to Scotland (to afford a garden, get dds settled into schools etc. etc.), but dh will still be in old London job for a while, going down on Sunday nights, back Thursday nights. I'm really excited about the move, but dreading this bit. Does anyone have any experience of weekly commuting and any advice??

My DH is often working away.....started just as I fell pregnant with baby no 3 and still does now (we now have 5).....altho not every week anymore.

the first few weeks it was a huge shock (at that point he work away for the entire pregnancy), but then again I was suffering morning sickness and was astoundingly tired as DD2 at that point was stuck to me like glue day and night, so wasn't getting any break either!
It soon settled into a good pattern tho, and in fact I was in such a good routine during the week that I was very resentful of the upheaval at the weekends.

mine was easier tho as I wasn't also in a new house and away from friends/family so they could help if needed. (altho, you said you are moving back so are you actually going to be back with family?)

Yeah, I do it (normally - though not at the moment as I'm on study leave).

Advice....hmm.... If he's not going to be in the office every day, he will need to be very careful his colleagues don't get the impression he is skiving on the other day. This is the problem I've had - also when I've not been in the office for completely some other reason (eg meeting elsewhere) they assume I'm at home and bitch about it.

In terms of working the hours, it actually makes things quite easy for the person away from home as they don't have to worry about family during the week so they can go in early/finish late every day if they want.

Will you be SAHM or working? Obviously the problems you will have vary according to what you are doing.

Yep - my dh does this. He's up at 5am on Monday morning, out the house at 5.45 with a mumbled goodbye from me. He's back on Thursday evening, and I get to see him when I get in at 9.30pm. He then works from home on a Friday. It's tough, but ever since I have known him he has worked like this (IT Contractor), and there is no end in sight. Ever.

I'm pregnant at the moment, due in April, and we're taking each week as it comes. I'd very much like him to be around a bit more, but it's just not possible, and I'm sure come April/May/June we will handle it as best we can.

We talk pretty much every night, and are in contact during the day via email and text messages. It can be difficult, for the only time you actually get to discuss things/sort out admin/plan stuff is at the weekend, but it does make that time at the weekend so much more special, and you do really make the effort.

Hmm we toyed with this idea for a while. Same position as yourselves stay in the East of England or move back home to Scotland.

It was the cost of the commute and accommodation that put us off and also the very day dh went to talk to his boss about moving back (his company have offices in Scotland), he was offered a "head of" role with perks and benefits just too good to dismiss.

In the end we stayed where we were and moved to a much bigger house, thanks to dh's job.

My parents have put their house on the market and are buying a house down here, when theirs sells.

Sorry for the waffle about me

that's okay 5GFs! and thanks everyone. We'll be moving much closer to family, to a new house, I'll be SAHM, perhaps working from home once we're all settled. My dh is quite senior in the company, and also very diligent, so no probs with colleagues, I shouldn't think. I think what will be difficult is managing the switch from working week to 'home'time on the weekend. I might well be fed up with childcare, and want to hand it all to him, whereas he'll just want to chill ...

guess it's all down to communication or something equally dull

We've done it but when child-free. I was in St Albans, dh in Frankfurt and Paris (6 month stretches each).

I got used to it, and found it hard to adapt to having him around at weekends and holidays. In some ways it was good. I found that we made more of an effort to spend 'quality time' (for want of a better phrase) together, and we had countless emails and phonecalls. Now, when he is based in London, I can go for days barely speaking to him.

I've just had a long chat with a friend of a friend who does it in the area we might be moving to - she strongly advises a weekend w/out the children once a month, which could be possible if we can coerce my mum into childcare (she's got off lightly the last 5 years, being 500 miles away). Also to try to avoid handing a list of Things That Need Doing to dh as soon as he gets home.

And to realise you have to adjust from being in charge of the house to letting dh be man about the house for the weekend ...

And to talk at least twice a day during the week, esp. to say goodnight! (ah )

we've done this - it's hard work for you especially if anyone is sick. stock up on shopping so you don't always have to go out, be ready for home emergencies.

My dh worked in London came home on Friday night back on Sunday.

I stayed in Glasgow as I loved my job and ds was already in school. Dd was in nursery and we had a tiny mortgage so childcare fees weren't a problem.

Ended up moving to the East last year only because when we were expecting DD2 the cost of childcare for 2 los, his flights & rent meant the situ wasn't financially beneficial.

I suppose it depends how independant you are. I didn't find it a problem and it helped that I had family who could help with babysitting if I wanted to go out during the week (and didn't have to put up with contant footy on the telly, smelly socks down the side of the bed etc .

Only thing was I felt alot of responsibility as when he was home there was little time to sort practicalities he usually deals with (broken down cars, bills, etc) and this was all passed to me as well as coping with ft job and kids.

Tbh I felt that the time he spent at home was appreciated more. We tended to spend time doing fun things and he spoiled the kids rotten!!!