christmas presents - how do you make sure your child doesnt get a load of rubbish?

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just that really - really want dd to have fewer nice things, rather than a ton of plastic that will be discarded.

i dont want to spoil every one's fun buying for her (first grandchild etc) by telling them what to get - but they are far more likely to go for lurid plastic etc.

just not sure how to broach it

or am i being horrid?

ask for ELC or woolies vouchers. Tell the rellies you are saving up for a rocking horse or something and that way they can all contribute to it.

it really is the only way to avoid the plastic crap. Awful little sets of dollies teas sets with a thousand pink plastic pieces that you will have to spend your evenings picking up - you aren't being horrid at all just practical

perhaps send out a list of things that you know she wants? My family would really appreciate the help I think but i am too disorganised to do it

I wouldn't send out a list (seems a bit cheeky!) but I would have one about my person so that when people asked I could whip it out and make suggestions.

I'm not sure how you can avoid the sheer tonnage of tat you get given - I feel guilty for saying it but dh's family are the worst offenders. I would far rather ds1 and ds2 got one good toy but they often get 10 tacky ones which end up in bits by Boxing Day. Never been able to say anything - but then they don't ask if I have any ideas - they just buy stuff.

My family ask and I have suggestions at the ready.

I always make suggestions when people ask so have a list to hand. I do this year after year with MIL who asks what they want - and she always ignores it, gets carried away and buys loads of crap. I give up...

My mum always buys rubbish but I've got over the horror of it now and we feel quite fond of the market stall tat we get from her. Occasionally we've asked her for something in particular to avoid the crap and she sounds so crestfallen we just can't do it to her anymore. She is the queen of the pikey present, never buys anything full price and most of the packaging is written in Indonesian and the toys inside have lethal spikes and small parts

oh dear-i've just bought 6 Orchard Toys Incy-wincy spider games 'cos they're reduced to 2.99 in WHS. It's such a crap game but so cheap....They're for duty presents, kids who we've not seen for years but we are too wimpy to say "let's stop this ridiculous annual exchange of crap" to their parents. i'm hoping if we look tighter and give crappier presents they might stop first??

just keep the tat to one side, so when you get horrible destructive kids come over to play, or you want to feel good and donate some, you have some tat to hand.

Keep the tat for the relentless birthday parties of school mates throughout the rest of the year! [evil icon!]

enid, are you my sister in law?

I specifically said to MIL some time ago, that we very definitely did not want any more soft toys for either of our little girls as we have bloody loads anyway, some out and some stored in the loft.

What did she bring for their birthdays do you think?
More soft toys.

Am I the only person with a hatred for piles of soft toys?

marialuisa, that's fine - that's justifiable tat. It's the presents from people who should get you good presents that's the problem.

I know this because I have 4 presents to buy for the children of the Mums who were in my ante-natal class when I was pg with ds2: and the cheapest thing I could find were Thomas the Tank and Maisy peelable sticker books in Letterbox for £2.99. It's the thought that counts....

its the thought that counts not the present

You can't IMO - you might as well resign yourself to the fact.

Tatcity I am with you on the soft toys. My ILs are bad for this. DS has tons of soft toys and they kept on buying them for him even though they know he wasn't interested (SIL as well as PIL) and now have started DD with her very own collection.

I give additional soft toys to my mums destructive dog as a treat for him..and excuse this with the thought that if they stayed they would collect too much dust and cause asthma

you ould give them to a charity shop which would be able to sell them and make some money for a good cause

Go to a few websites that sell nice toys (I like www.letterbox.co.uk) and fill in your relatives' addresses on the "Send me a catalogue" page. They never need know it was you that did it - they'll think its random junk mail. And it might work...

this is very scroogey of me, but i get so wound up with plakky duplicates/nasty clothing/age-inappropriate stuff that i have tried to pre-empt MIL. just a passing/casual, 'oh, in case you were wondering about what to get dd for her bday...' but she has never gone for it. i think she always buys stuff in the sales, long in advance.
(i posted a grumble ages ago about how, despite many warning signs, she ALWAYS gives poor DH bottles of whisky, and me chenille hat-and-glove sets, and indeed the week after i wrote that she gave me a mauve chenille poncho for my bday. and custardo, charity shops do very well out of MIL's generosity.)
my parents are desp to give something they know will be loved by dd, and personally i feel that's much more in tune with the spirit of xmas...

Unless you tell people exactly what to get then I dont think you can.

DS usually ends up with cheapy items from some people, but then again they don't have much money and I am grateful they have bothered to get him anything, unless its so cheap its dangerous.

We wrote a wish list/santa letter from DD (2 years) and copies in to all those who were buying for DD, mainly to avoid duplicates and also as everyone normally asks us what she wants anyway. It's working well

Afraid I didn't even give anyone the chance of guessing what DS wanted for Xmas (last year or this) I wrote a list of the things I want him to get & allocated each to a family member or offered to get them on their behalf! I know I'm a control freak but our families were rather relieved not to have to think up something themselves, unless it's a stocking filler.

I have an account, widely advertised, the numbers of which family members now ask for. Cunning, eh?

I've also trained them to ask what extra curricular activities are planned for this term, that they can pay for and be credited for (Auntie K bought you your swimming lessons Darling...)

We have a £5 rule as there are so many kids in the family, we'd be broke if we didn't set a strict limit. It works this way. Say your ds' birthday is coming up. He really wants an £8 toy but only grandparents are supposed to exceed this £5 limit. You speak to your sister / brother / friend and say "Do you want me to get ds this gift from you?" They gratefully agree as it saves them the postage (if they live far away which all of ours do) and they only need to post the card together with a cheque to you for £5. Ds gets what he wants, you only put in £3 and the other person is happy, too. The £5 rule is a great leveller when incomes are vastly different, too. It works for us!

We usually give each other ideas or ask for certain things so they don't get a load of crap that yo don't want.

Every year my MIL asks what to buy dd, every year we say buy this or buy that and every single year she ignores us and buys something C**p. I think the worst was when dd wanted a specific game and we told MIL and instead she bought dd a toy that was for a 2 year old and dd had just turned 5! and don't get me started on the cuddly toys. First present MIL bought for dd2 when she was born was a huge cuddly toy Lamb! I'm dreading christmas