What would you do?

4 replies

HeismyLobster · 12/08/2021 22:39

First time poster!!
Please can someone please help/advise me.
Bit of background. I have health issues where I need to sit down and properly supported. Every time we see my partners family, I end up sitting on the floor as no one will move. When they come down to ours, my seat is always taken by one of his family. There is no moving or offering to make space for me and bags are dumped on my seat as soon as they arrive to almost 'claim' the seat. Yes it probably is the best seat in the house but it's my seat on my sofa (which has enough space for 4) and I need to be properly supported (foot stool). Every time and every evening I end up perched on the coffee table and can't even move the dogs to sit down (my dog is entitled to a seat as she is my baby) their dog bites if you try to move it. What do I do? It makes the time really miserable as I'm in pain. I'm not one to say 'budge over' but have made it very obvious today that I need to sit down. What would you say/do which is subtle? Every time we get home from going out, she puts her bag on the sofa in my seat to almost 'stake' it's her seat, it's just happened again!! Please help!! I've asked my partner to be more assertive and he has by giving up his seat but I want MY seat!! I slave getting the house ready for them and it's the least they could do!!

OP posts:

Doyoumind · 12/08/2021 22:44

I'm afraid you need to stop being subtle. Just tell them you're in awful pain and need to sit there. I know it's hard but you're not helping yourself by being polite. They aren't being polite. Why should you tiptoe around them?

Original poster

HeismyLobster · 12/08/2021 22:56

@Doyoumind

Hope I'm replying to this correctly, first time I've ever posted... what would you say/do? I'm not a person who puts themselves first unless there is a decent reason why. I've just come in the room and told her to move over so i can sit in my seat with my dog... she has moved over... to the middle!! It gave me palpitations asking!! Dog and I are on sofa but a little squished! My partner asked me what was wrong yesterday and I told him and said he needed to be more assertive and told him it just wasn't fair on me. I just want her to realise that it's my seat and when she does it'll make things so much less tense. It feels like double standards... why can't I have a seat to sit in regardless of where we are?

OP posts:

Original poster

HeismyLobster · 12/08/2021 22:58

@Doyoumind

Do you fancy coming for a holiday when the are here?!! I feel like you have my corner in this!! Thank you!! Xx

OP posts:

Doyoumind · 12/08/2021 23:30

The problem with being passive aggressive and subtle is that it can either be missed, or they can pretend they've missed the point. If you're being honest, you're as angry with yourself as with them for not being assertive.

While you are sitting in your seat, make a point of talking about how much better you feel and how much more comfortable it is for you so they understand there's a problem.

Flip