Have been asked to 'keep an eye' on kids at a bonfire party and feel rather put upon.

[enid]

dd1, dd2 and I are going to a birthday party this afternoon at a local, rather, ahem, bohemian friends house. The form is a treasure hunt "whatever the weather" (!) and then a bonfire and sparklers. Now as this lovely but distracted mum has a reputation for being very 'laid back', three other mums have asked me to keep an eye on their children and the bonfire.

I can't take the responsibility! That means I have to watch three other kids as well as dd1 and dd2. Am stressed already. And actually a bit peeved truth be known.

no wonder enid. Tell them you can't be made responsible if anything happens. Why can't they or their childminders do it?

Phone the other mums and explain you're feeling worried. sparklers are dangerous for little ones. they don't realise the burnt end is hot.

I can't say anything now - its a five year olds party and most of the mums are dropping their kids and not staying. I only live down the lane (like the muffin man) and so I said I'd stay (really so that dd2 gets to go - she loves a party). They all collared me in the playground this morning and I just agreed without thinking. I did say jokily to one mum 'well I absolve myself of any responsibility but I'll do my best'...

Bloody cheek! Tell them you're not happy about their assumption that if you're there, their kids will be ok.

I agree. You already have 2 kids to worry about so I don't think it is very fair of the other mums to ask you to do so. How many other adults will there be ? Could one of the other 3 mums go with you. I would have thought even with school age kids, in that environment you need at least 1:3 if not 1:2

I would feel so put upon Enid and wouldn't do it - why not just ask one or two of them to stay as well (to chat to!) and share the responsibility.

haven't you got their phone nos? I'd ring if so and say you're really worried. It's a bit off IMO

I'm not surprised you're peeved and stressed. Are you going to be the only other adult there?

yes, get there early and tell them before you leave. Be assertive!!!

meant them leave lol

It's a bl**dy cheek! If they're so concerned they should either stay themselves or not let their children go!

Oh poo Enid. Dh and I were wibbling away about keeping just ds and dd (in her pushchair ffs) away from our microscopic low noise firework "display" on Saturday night, minus bonfire. I am not surprised you are peeved, no solutions I'm afraid but a hybrid + emoticon on your behalf. Shame on the other mums.

Theres going to be 20 kids there! I am presuming there will be birthday boys mum and dad, their aupair and me!!!

I dont even know the NAME of one of the mums.

There's going to be sparklers as well.

I feel sick

TBH Enid I wouldn't leave my child at a bonfire party. Fair enough for normal parties but this is something else entirely. I would try and speak to the mums as they drop their kids off and say you've thought about it and your dds are going to take up your attention so you can't keep an eye on theirs.

How about "I can't watch all 5 of them, but give me your phone number and I'll call you if she/he gets hurt." when you see them as they drop the kids off?

No way, I would say they have to stay and keep an eye on their own, you have got your own to watch and it will be dark etc..

dont go enid my old mucker

Yes, I quite like that one jj. Puts the fear into them!! Just a bit worried as it is a massive house with a ginormous garden - last time I went round she had a couple of kids back for tea, she put them all on the trampoline then said, oh hold on, I've got to finish something in the kitchen - leaving me to watch SEVEN kids going mad on the trampoline. Two of them got off and ran off - I didnt want to leave the others unattended so I just hoped the other two had gone into the house. 10 minutes later an old lady appeared with the two others, saying she had found them on the road outside just wandering off .

I was going to just drop dd1 off but now I am worried that the other parents might be relying on me to watch their kids...

I'm with Coddy. Can you take the girls somewhere else fun for the afternoon (involving cake, obviously)?

yes dont go
dont put yourself to he heassle

OMG. Thats such a good idea but I could never do that. I'd have to come up with tons of lies about where I was/why I hadn't gone.

I'd feel a bit sorry for the birthday boy if people he was expecting just don't turn up...

Couldn't you phone his mother and mention that several other Mums weren't planning to stay around with theire kids, and what are the arrangements for supervision during the fireworks? It may be that the Mum is expecting that there will be more help than will actually be the case, and she might make sure that the other Mums stay?

I used to over explain too enid now I just leave it mystriously vague sot hey get embarassed

Lol!

I think I am becoming hysterical.

One hour to go... and its raining here but she still expects all the kids to do the treasure hunt outside...

ahahahhahh...