Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Other subjects
Original poster

Life changing event...........can I really do this?

37 replies

emmatmg · 07/11/2004 08:28

OK, so it's still not definate yet but......

Dh has gone for a job in Gloucester, about 150 miles away from where we live now in Surrey.

We found a lovely house, which needs tonnes of work but will be gorgeous when finished and will be a fantastic investment.

It's on the outskirts of the Forest of Dean, beautiful countryside just a few miles from the house and the town where we'll live. Lovely and excellent schools. Park on the door step and although not everybodies cup of tea there's a staem railway line at the end of the (big)garden( as some of you may know Dh is a train driver so our 3ds's are train mad)

At the moment we live in a small terraced house with a reasonable garden, Ds1 loves school, ds2 will be starting the nursey there in January. We are happy here and have lovely neighbours but crave more outside space around us and will eventually need more space inside.
There is no way we could afford the same sort of house around here as there is about £100,000 difference for the same thing.

I know that eventually we will all be happy there BUT it will take along time to feel like we do now. I will deparately miss my best friend and our DS1's will be gutted to lose each other(we met in the antenatal classes when PG with them).

The question is, I know I can do it, but can I do it to my children? They are excited about it, especially the steam train at the bottom of the garden but the reality of actually doing it will be very differnet for them.

Have any of you relocated to somewhere completely new? How was it? How did the children cope?

I'm very scared about the whole thing.

OP posts:
jane313 · 07/11/2004 08:32

I think most children adjust to moves really well. Two friends have recently moved to somerset and their children are move than happy. Gloucester was one of the place I was thinking of relocating to because of the postions but wasn't sure what the town was like.

Twiglett · 07/11/2004 08:32

sounds wonderful

I'd be more worried about making friends for myself nearby than the children .. they will adapt extremely quickly

jane313 · 07/11/2004 08:35

Children are probaby the best way of making friends too (not that I've managed that) but if you life somewhere nice you will gets tons of visitors and sometimes it great seeing friends for a weekend rather than a rushed aftrernoon or eveing. I have to book up months in advance to see one of my Somerset friends.

WideWebWitch · 07/11/2004 08:45

You'll be fine, go for it! We moved last year, when I was 36 weeks pregnant and ds was 6. He was (and is) fine and very happy with where we are now. We moved from rural Devon to Bristol so had a change of friends, schools, the lot. Ds made friends easily and I've made some too (1 mumsnetter, a couple of new ones from school, 1 old friend already lived here). I'm really happy here and so is dp. It sounds lovely, I hope your dh gets the job.

WideWebWitch · 07/11/2004 08:49

And Emmatmg, if you wanted to make new friends you could join the PTA (pretty much didn't work for me as they were actually a PITA but there you go, I did meet one woman I liked); join the NCT; go to a mums and tots group, put up a poster asking if other mums want to go on some outings with children in the summer holidays (I did this in Devon and met a few nice people); go on a mumsnet meet; join a club. You will make friends I'm sure.

marthamoo · 07/11/2004 08:50

Oh it sounds lovely! My ds2 wouldn't care about anything but the steam trains at the bottom of the garden!

Children are really adaptable - they'll be fine. It will be harder for you but you'll get there - and you'll still have Mumsnet! We moved to a new area when ds1 was 4 and I was quite lonely at first but once he started school I did meet other people and I'm really happy here now.

Best of luck!

Original poster
emmatmg · 07/11/2004 09:08

WWW, I remember your move form last year actually. Bristol-Gloucester we could be neighbours

I'm not to worried about making friends myself, after all having young children is an excellent way to meet people it's just DS1+2 often say " I don't want to leave X, Y or Z" and it's always something that's not going to be there when we go, ie, friends, schools, teachers, bedrooms(!!). I know they'll have all of those things but they will really struggle to regain the same feelings obout them. Or will they? I've moved to surrey to live with Dh so I know that I can be happy elsewhere but that was before children......Did your children adapt quickly or was it quite along process?

BTW Martha, the railway line not only has steam trains but you know the "Days out with Thomas" events.....well they go passed the end of the garden.....can you imagine that.....a 5 yr old, 3 yr old and a 1 yr old having Thomas, James, etc going along the track at the end of their garden.

OP posts:
marthamoo · 07/11/2004 09:18

Well if you don't want to go, we'll buy it! Ds2 would be in Train Heaven - Thomas at the bottom of the garden, how cool is that?!

marthamoo · 07/11/2004 09:18

You HAVE to go!

Kittypickle · 07/11/2004 09:20

We've moved from Poole to Somerset when DD was one so that didn't count, but then moved from Somerset back to Dorset a couple of years ago when she was coming up to 4. She is a fairly quiet child and I was wondering how she'd adapt - she said that she didn't want to leave friends, room etc. When it came to it, we settled very well. Before we moved we went shopping for her new room and that was the first thing we did when we moved. She settled in very well. I think it's very normal for children to say they don't want to go as they crave familiarity ie the house that they have always known, but in reality they are very adaptable and settle well. When we moved we were one of 4 families in our village who were all moving away a fair distance for work reasons. All the children have settled well. We took lots of pictures of our old house etc that DD liked to look at for a bit. My tip is if you are going to do it, try to spend a couple of weekends up there with them doing fun things, helps them build enthusiasm for a move. Good luck !

ScummyMummy · 07/11/2004 09:27

Sounds like it'll be great, emmatmg. I echo what everyone has said about the kids adapting in no time. And though I hate Thomas and his friends with a passion even I would quite like seeing them chug through my garden intermittently. My boys (5) would be impressed at such a sight now and three years ago would have been in heaven! Go for it.

shortcake · 07/11/2004 09:36

WE've relocated 4 times and my kids are now 15 and 11 - the eldest is at her 5th school. Each time I have been really concerned about the kids but I have to say that we have never regretted a single move and it really hasn't done them any harm at all. I really believe that when they are young they look to see if the parents are happy and then they take their cue from you. So concentrate on the exciting things and the positive things and find something (anything!) about DS's new school which will be better than the old one - i.e bigger playframe, pond in grounds or even horse in field next door - and they will love it. DON'T drone on about missing friends etc - just tell them that they will be able to visit and sleepover (if they ask about it!) and they will be fine. Chin up and go for it!!!!

Gobbledigook · 07/11/2004 09:47

Emmatmg - you have to go!! Then we can all come and watch the trains from your garden! OMG - ds1 and ds2 would be in HEAVEN!!!! Specially when Thomas and James go whizzing by!!!

I'm sure it would work out fine and like everyone else has said - children are probably the most adaptable to change of all of us.

Good luck - it sounds fab!

ZolaPola · 07/11/2004 09:50

relocating not easy (we did this while ago) and it's taking me much longer than i expected to settle in but got to move on, need to get to know a place, new people etc. I grew up near this area - it's idyllic for kids, outdoor life, fresh air, they'll have great fun!

PuffTheMagicDragon · 07/11/2004 10:21

emmatmg, it all sounds wonderful.

We moved a fair bit when I was a child (relocating each time completely). I coped fine and we didn't really stop moving (and changing schools until I was 12).

It's not such a distance, that you couldn't meet up halfway somewhere with your best friend + children occasionally (I do this with one of my friends that relocated).

Good luck with it all .

Original poster
emmatmg · 07/11/2004 10:31

I feel like 50% of me wants him to get the job, 50% doesn't.

I chop and change between being really excited and then really really REALLY sad.

Reading all this though, it feels more like 60%-40% in favour of going. You're all doing a fine job ladies, keep it coming

OP posts:
PuffTheMagicDragon · 07/11/2004 10:33

Also, meet up with best friend WITHOUT children for a girls day out.

Original poster
emmatmg · 07/11/2004 10:49

All this and he probably won't get the job.....that'd be a laugh wouldn't it

He did say the interview went very well, he answered all the questions right (about the rules of train driving), He'd done alot of research about the company and they were impressed that he knew as much as he did. The job is either in the bag or they're all laughing at him thinking he's a right train-nerd

OP posts:
Gobbledigook · 07/11/2004 11:17

Emmatmg - ha ha! No, I bet he gets it! Making a big change must always be hard but I'm sure it would be for the better - sounds like the house, garden, location are all amazing!

(Skate)

Original poster
emmatmg · 07/11/2004 11:31

gobbledigook.......I'm sooooooo glad you signed with your old name. I saw your post last night with the 5 letters/ice clue and have been scratching my head every since.
I went to bed thinking about, and as soon as I saw your new name again this morning I was stumped again.

I'll let you all know if he gets the job as I'm sure I'll really start to panic then.

OP posts:
koo · 07/11/2004 14:19

We relocated in July this year. We took over a very busy seasonal business involving very long hours with no family support or suitable childcare available. We moved from a lovely house to an absolute shithole (which is bordering on lovely now)and the children had no friends all summer long.

Four months later, the children are so happy it is unbelievable and I am busy every day. The school mums have all been very welcoming and have made a point to include us all in activities.

The boys and I were very sad initially and very homesick but that stage really does pass quickly, you just have to be prepared for it.

I say, go for it. It takes real gumption to change your life.

Shimmy21 · 07/11/2004 14:30

We moved 200 miles to an area where we didn't know a soul and relatives very far away, leaving behind a great social life. Ds1 and 2 were fine but it took us a lot longer. Now 5 years on the boys can't remember living anywhere else and dh and I finally feel that we wouldn't want to go back because we have so much better a quality of life here than we could have had there. I'd say go, go, go but be prepared to put in the hard work being proactive about meeting new people.

roisin · 07/11/2004 15:04

We moved a long distance when they boys were 3 and 5. DS1 started school here and ds2 started nursery; they settled very quickly, and were very happy straight away. (Even though we haven't got steam trains at the end of the garden )

I was devastated to have left all my good friends, with whom I'd shared 'first baby' experiences, and it took me a good 12 months to be happy here. But I am glad we moved, and it was the right thing for us as a family.

Easy · 07/11/2004 16:39

Emma,

My mum lives near there. We could meet up after you move when I visit her?

I envy you. I can't persuade my dh to move there at all (he's frightened that my mum will be round all the time). So I'm xtuck in suburbia near Nottingham, and hate it!

4 what it's worth I'd say go for it.

Sorry haven't read all the other replies

Original poster
emmatmg · 07/11/2004 17:11

Excellent Easy......I'll definatley keep you to that. My first friend.

The house is in Lydney, is that anywhere near your Mum?

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread