To feel uncomfortable...

[moovinon]

I have been with my partner for about 8/9 years. Just before we started going out, he was messaging a girl that was right up his street in terms of looks. Lots of tattoos, piercings etc. She used to go out with my partners friend for about 4 years and then years later started messaging my partner etc.

It turns out that my brother has now started going out with this girl. For my mums birthday, We are due to all go for a meal together on the weekend. I could absolutely die. I know it was a long time ago, but I'm dreading it. I would try and just avoid that meeting but it looks like she will be turning up to some other events too. So it is likely I will have to see her at some point.

Would anyone else feel uncomfortable with this? I don't know how to stop feeling so worried about it. It wouldn't be so bad if she wasn't so pretty and exactly the type he would go for. Help.

What's making you not trust him? He chose you surely? Or have there been signs that he's likely to stray?

Does your brother know the history?

I think its weird that you're worried your partner will be exposed to someone you think he'll find attractive/used to find attractive - it was nearly a decade ago and she'll be there as someone else's partner, as would he. Is there any other reasons you have to doubt him?

But she didn't get anywhere with your partner, did she?

But they never even went out together! He went out with you instead.

Honestly, my main thought reading this is that Tattoo Woman needs to get herself a wider dating pool.

Honestly, my main thought reading this is that Tattoo Woman needs to get herself a wider dating pool.

Some areas just don't have a massive choice. When I met DH, who is from 2 counties away, my DSis commented that I'd just increased the gene pool in our village by 50%

I’d be uncomfortable, too. Just hope she prefers your brother to your partner, and she and your DP have respectful, good boundaries.
Ultimately if they are still attracted to each other, it won’t make for the most comfortable family meet ups for you and your brother. Yikes.

@BunnyRuddington To be honest the reason I don't trust him is because I have somewhat low self esteem. He has proved to be very trustworthy (as far as I know) throughout the 9 years. He is really respectful and a good person but he is also incredibly sociable and I'm just dreading listening To the pair of them chatting away. Apparently the messages between them were never dodgy etc (but can hardly imagine him telling me he sent a picture of his penis to her if he did 😂).

@cindarellasbelly I have no idea if my brother knows to be honest. We're nit very close so it's not the sort of thing I could ask him.

I just wish she wasn't attractive and then it would be great 😂😂

So….9 years ago she was texting your now boyfriend AFTER she’d been in a relationship with his friend?
So….they were friends 9 years ago?
9 years.
I think you’re overthinking things.