Has anyone been to a babyshower?

[skiingmummy]

I know they have them in America but I have absolutely no idea whats involved with one. I've been invited to a friends babyshower (shes due the day before me) and my inital reaction is what a cheek! It just seems like a blatant request for presents - which I would have bought anyway after the baby is born.

Am I missing the point or what? Has anyone been to one?

These have been discussed many times before on here, skiingmummy! So much depends on what the hostess' agenda is. I'd say that it was grasping to organise your OWN baby shower, but sometimes friends do it for you.
American-style baby showers do involve presents etc but the sort I have been to are showers "in name only" and generally more about fussing over the mum to be, providing nice food and drink, making her feel a bit special and appreciated. I've organised more than one lunch like this for friends, ESPECIALLY ones who already have one child and have faced the usual second-time-round indifference from their families/colleagues . Point being to have fun away from pesky first child...
Have never been the margaritas in baby bottles/heaps of presents route and share your unease about it!

Yes a friend of mine had one a few weeks ago (she's since had a baby boy on halloween!) It was really more of a chance of a get together and she specifically equested no presents allthoufg we all took silly things like breast pads and bibs!

She put on some food and her nest friend had organised lots of baby related games and quizes. It was a good night.

Hmm - the invite doesn't mention 'not' taking a prezzie but it would feel a bit wierd to turn up without.

The friends Mum has organised it.

I really must get to grips with searching mumsnet for previous discussions on topics I'm interested in! Being a new mumsnetter I'm still finding my feet - in a purely metaphorical sense seeing as I have absolutely no hope of actually seeing them again for at least another 3 months!!

i had surprise shower given to me by best friend - really lovely - we played baby related games, had lovely lunch, chatted about baby things - my friends all participated in a baby "sweep" (who could guess sex, weight, birth date etc)

there were presents, but it was very low key - everyone else was already a "mummy" and I was first time mum, so they gave me things for different times of the day which they found useful - bathtime (baby bath and sponge, duck), play time (rattle, little cloth book), food time (cute spoon and bowl), nappy time (metamium, sudocreme, wipes), poorly time (karvol, calpol, thermometer) - you get the idea - it was really kind

i would hate to think that they felt obligated to buy gifts - i think because I had not idea and my friend organised it, they did not mind (I hope)

i think it is all in the approach - if its light hearted and fun, it is really nice just to be "fussed over" for a while

oh, skiingmummy, if you are unsure about the present thing - how about taking a little gift pack of things you found were vital/helpful - then it is like passing on your "wisdom" without spending a fortune, and also a bit of fun - things like metamium, black and white toy, little book on sleep, karvol, some muslins, your favourite baby bath ....

Baby showers can be a lot of fun just like everyone has said (but extremely tacky if organised by the mum to be!!) I went to one a few weeks ago for a NZ friend (organised by a 3rd friend) and it was lovely - we all bought our favourite book from childhood and wrote a little msssage for the parents to be inside - would you believe she didn't get any doubles.....lots of lovely food and no silly games (but the games can be fun too!)
would be strange (is strange) to go to a shower when you are preg yourself - I myself am due about 6 weeks before this woman and a few of the other guests had said to me - are you having a baby shower? ( no!!)
But I had a great time!

My American friend held a surprise baby shower for me and it was a lot of fun. As everyone says, it was nice to be fussed over, we had some yummy eats and some silly games. I got to keep all the little pressies involved in the games, things like bibs, nappy pins, muslins, a rattle ect and they had also clubbed together to buy me one bigger present - a lovely outfit for the new arrival. I really appreciated the jesture and TBH yes, I think you are missing the point a little. However, since you are also pregnant I can understand that this is a little wierd for you but go along and enjoy and take a weeny present aswell, baby bubble bath maybe.
Oh, and good luck with your pregnancy, keep us posted!

OK thanks!
I think because the invite doesn't give any clues as to whats planned and whether its a surprise or not and its arranged for a Saturday night it just felt a bit strange. Don't know about my friend but I'm in bed by 9 most nights coz I'm so knackered and have to have a really good reason to stay up 'late'! It wouldn't be my ideal time to be pampered I must admit! I'd rather be tucked up in bed!!

Anyway, I think the suggestions of small, useful gifts are a very good idea and that'll mean I'll still be able to buy the baby something more expensive once its born.

Definitely take her some metanium skiingmummy
Hope you have a nice time. Honesty's experience sums up for me the lovely aspect of a shower, I think that sounds just right.

here

Infacol is another one first time Mums might not know about. I always include it in my shower gifts.

I organised a surprise baby shower for my sister and she did the same for me. Our mother was Canadian and would have arranged one for us, had she been alive, so it felt ok to do it. They were both really lovely with just close friends and female family members, presents were very small (useful from the mums, silly and fun from the non-mums), although a couple of people brought the gifts they would have given after the birth IYSWIM. It was lovely to be fussed over and celebrated at such a late, fat, fed-up stage of pregnancy. One lovely friend had kept the soft toy that my mum had given her daughter when she was born and gave it to me for my baby - that was very special. I like showers, but then I love any excuse for a party.

I had a baby shower - organised by my mum and sisters and it was fabulous. it's not just about showering the baby but playing games such as guess the waist size of the bump with a piece of string and name the nursery rhymes. silly things like that. also everyone bought baby to be a book that had meant something to them in their childhood and wrote a mesg in it. really lovely. and everyone wrote a mesg/ quote and hung on a tree. something i can keep. i don't think they are a cheek and would be delighted to go to someone elses if was ever invited. plus you have an opportunity to get the mother and baby to be something that is really needed.

I had one as I was based in the US and it was great fun. Basically a couple of friends organised it and while people bought presents, I did say it wasn't necessary, but it just seems that people like buying new babies something! We had food and drink and played party games. if you want a traditional US style one, there are loads of websites with ideas. But I think it is really nice just to get together and have a party - also I kept lots of mementos/photos for my son.

I've been to several (moved here from US 1.5 years ago). Ironically, we found out we were pregnant just as we were moving to UK and away from all our friends whose showers we had attended. And then an american friend organized a last minute one from me (three weeks from my de date). My DD was born that day. So, no shower in the end, but was still the best day of my life.

In the states, they can get tacky, but the idea is to celebrate the mommy-to-be, play silly games, etc. And yes, people do bring gifts, usually what they think/found most helpful. They are usually only for first time mothers.

A lovely idea: invite the partners as well. Men don't get to get involved much during the pregnancy and I know several dads who really got into the idea more after going to a shower for their first babies. It's encouraging and gets them interested. My DH found them fun even before we got married!!

I recently moved to Australia while pregnant and joined a playgroup - they gave me a baby shower which they organised and they gave me just a couple of practical pressies like newborn nappies and some cheapy little things. it was really kind of them all. Now I have a friend due next month and our group of friends have arranged to give her one too...so it's not as though the pregnant person has organised it for themselves. We're making her a patchwork quilt for the baby which we thought would be a more personal present rather than something bought in the shops...plus it's hard to buy presents before you know what sex the baby is and chances are they have most of the baby stuff already anyway. This reminds me - I have to get sewing!!!

Me and my friends all do showers for each other and with us presents are involved but they take the place of the presents after the birth.

We do it as a suprise and all buy an individual present for the baby (usually an outfit) and contribute £20 each that goes towards a nice present for the mum to be (usually lovely smellies/pyjamas for hospital visit) and a main present for baby (most recently was a baby gym, we have bought sterilisers, baths, monitors) anything that hasnt yet been bought.

We put on lots of food and drink (alcohol free wine for mum to be) and just have a nice get together.

We also always buy a helium balloon and have a little tradition that the baby is always born before it fully deflates!

Friends from work organised a baby shower for me, before i thought they were corny but I was made to feel so special and got the most gorgeous gifts and fuss that I came home feeling like I had had a birthday surprise and christmas rolled into one, it was the highlight of my pregnancy to be honest to think so many people were so happy for me, I will definately organise one for any of my friends who get pregnant. I think the idea is that someone does it for you, I would never have organised one for myself though.

Friends from work organised a baby shower for me, before i thought they were corny but I was made to feel so special and got the most gorgeous gifts and fuss that I came home feeling like I had had a birthday surprise and christmas rolled into one, it was the highlight of my pregnancy to be honest to think so many people were so happy for me, I will definately organise one for any of my friends who get pregnant. I think the idea is that someone does it for you, I would never have organised one for myself though.