American moms abroad - anyone joined an expat group?

[tex111]

After almost 11 years in England I'm thinking of joining American Women in London. Since having DS I'm more conscious of celebrating US holidays and making sure he's familiar and comfortable with American culture. I thought the group might help with that since they have a ton of social events, a toddler group, reading groups, etc. I thought it might also help me reconnect with my American roots a bit.

Anyone tried an expat group before? I welcome any feedback as this is a new territory for me. Joining isn't cheap and I don't want to waste the cash or my time if it's going to be a terrible, cliquey experience.

tex 111 - can't you go to an event or two organized by the group and see what kind of people there are before you join? I have tried to join similar groups in Moscow and here in Switzerland, and they've always been full of very nice people and interesting groups/activities. My only problem is that I work, and most activities are during the day, which became too much of an issue. Also, one of the clubs was very much Embassy wives, and once they found out I worked, they didn't have much to say to me! I'd go to some of the meetings as a non-member and then decide. Just one caveat, which is to avoid becoming so wrapped up in the group's activities that you forget to take pleasure in living abroad and being active in local organizations and opportunities!

Thanks Tartegnin, I do feel a little apprehensive about it. Don't know why though really. I think it's bad memories of the Junior League and such in Texas. Unfortunately, I have to join to go to any activities. I think I might just take a shot and see.

I'm actually hoping that the group will help me appreciate living in London. I've been here so long now that I take it all for granted. I'd like to see it through fresh eyes again, but I do take your point about getting too wrapped up in a club. I'm sure it happens all too easily.

Well, I was a member of the Hampstead Women's Club, which is primarily American women. I really joined to buy quality things second-hand, and didn't participate in the events or anything. I feel a little put-off, as we're barely scraping by (we're here for my husband to get his PhD), and so many of the women in the club are bankrolled by wealthy companies, and thus a little snooty. I did not join this year, as I needed to save £.

I think it's wonderful that you've been here for 11 years! Where have you lived? And how old is your ds?

From the other perspective, there are a couple of groups for English ex-pats here in Florida, which I've considered finding out more about. But I'm wondering if they're going to be the kind of people (I'm sure you know what I mean) who enjoy living the good life here but then complain about everything American and wish it could be more like Britain.

Tex, if you join I'd be interested to know how you get on.

I know my friend in Maryland sometimes really wants an English friend in the US - she's even developing the accent such has been the lack of English folk [GRIN]

Hi Maomao. We lived in Cambridge and the area for 7 years, then a year in Barnes in SW London, then a year in Tokyo, another year in Barnes, then we moved to Chislehurst which is about 3 miles from Bromley. So actually only ten years in England and a year in Japan.

I know what you mean about others being bankrolled by companies. When we were in Tokyo we went with DH's company, which is small, and we definitly had less money than other expats we met but luckily we never encountered any snootiness. I had a few American friends, but after so long in England, I actually felt more comfortable with my British friends and that's who we were closest to. I was even a member of the British Women in Tokyo group but it was very WI, lots of older ladies and run by the Ambassador's wife. Very nice but not really what I was looking for. The American group I'm looking at now seems to have a lot of moms and women of my age so I have higher hopes!

How long have you been in the UK? Are you enjoying it?

Hi KATG, that's just the attitude I'm worried about finding. I don't want to complain about England (well, not all the time ), it's my home now. I just want to be able to get back in touch with my American-ness a bit and celebrate the US holidays in style. I haven't seen fireworks on the 4th in over a decade!

You do NOT have to join the American Women of London to go to an event. I believe they allow you to attend two events and then they ask you to make a choice.

I joined American Women of Surrey about a year ago (basically so I could attend their Thanksgiving dinner). I haven't been to a single event since because of course they are all during the day. I can almost understand "ladies who lunch" because I too would like a life where I could lunch whenever I wanted. However, I found their were an awful lot of ladies who quilt, and I just couldn't relate to that at all.

I work full time, and so could never attend anything. I long for weekend toddler groups!

Anyway, we now live in Middlesex, so when we moved I looked for another American Women's group. I am now considering joinging American Women of London. I noticed on their website that they have a "Business Women's Group" and I immediately though ahhhh that's for me.

My only dilemma now is wether I really have the time for this. I just don't want to spend the money if I am never going to go to anything.

Tex, that's so sad!

We were in Europe for the 4th this year for the first time in 10 years, and I missed it too. (We drank Bud and had a BBQ to celebrate.)

Thanks Uwila! I'll contact the group and choose a couple of events. I'm not quite a lady who lunches but I'm a SAHM to a 2 year old so day time events would be great. Thanks for the info.

Oh I miss the fourth... sniff sniff

Hi Tex,

Wow, Japan too! When people mention Tokyo, I always think of people packed into trains like sardines by white-gloved train workers....

I like London very much, but wish I could afford it more!

Uwila, does the American Women's Club of London do Thanksgiving dinner?

Ahhh, the 4th --- that's my birthday!!!

Maomao, I've been one of those sardines! That was a crazy year. Very cool having your birthday on the 4th. I was hoping DS would be born that day so we would have an excuse for a party every year. He decided to hang around until the 31st July.

Also, Tex, I have a little Anpan Man, Toast Man, Curry Man, etc. should you or your ds feel the need to play with some Japanese characters....

hmmm... good question. I don't know if they do a Thanksgiving dinner. I haven't even looked this year.

But, if any one is interested www.awclondon.org/

Thanks Maomao, I'll keep that in mind . The best thing about our year in Tokyo is that I can honestly say that DS was 'Made in Japan'!

I was thinking of joining American Women of Surrey - mostly for playgroups for my kids - but have been told by several members not to bother. Their events are very costly, and we don't have money to throw around on things that don't interest me to begin with - eg antique hunting trips. We don't have any trouble rustling up a Thanksgiving dinner or cadging an invite to someone else's house; and my kids have lots of American classmates, so they don't miss out on that side of their heritage.

I was a member of an expat group (on the board, no less) of an expat group in the US, which had approx. 50% American former expats. I thought this was a good set up as the American women gave the group stability, in that they were unlikely to leave after a couple of years. The downside is that it skewed the age group to mostly women in their 40s and 50s as they had done their expat living and their hubbies were coming home to begin their journey to retirement. It was very much a group of "Ladies who Lunch" (fortunately boozy lunches which are otherwise hard to come by in the midwest). You had to have a certain level of disposable income to be able to take part. I run the playgroup for a couple of years, which was a niche of younger women who were less interested in cultural visits and more interested in things to do with children and ordinary parenting stuff. Being on the board, I had to get involved with the boozy lunches, which was fun too.

I was looking at the Surrey group too but thought maybe the London group would be larger and have a wider variety of people and activities.

I emailed the AWC in London and they've already responded. I can do three events before deciding whether or not to join! Very glad to hear that as I don't want to waste any money if it's not what I want. They're going to send me a packet of info and details about the events available.

Got my AWCL package this morning and it looks interesting. Most of the activities are targeted at women who don't work full time and don't have kids, or at least no kids at home all day. There's a mix of expensive and free activities and there's something going on every week. I emailed the Tot and Toddlers Group for more info about their activities as that's the kind of thing I'm most interested in and would be most convenient. We'll see!

No details of a Thanksgiving meal but there's a General Meeting and Holiday Tea Party that sounds nice the day before Thanksgiving. For Christmas they have carol singing and a children's Christmas Party (but I'll be away that weekend) among other things.