Name changed as I don't want anyone to identify me
I was dating a man from a website. I'm sickened that I met him while ny mum was diagnosed with cancer and instead of focusing on her I met him. After she died I met him again and went to stay in his town. I met his family. I came back to his place and he started to drink. I didn't want to have sex with him as my emotions were up and down. Anyway he wasn't really drunk but I remember him forcing himself on me. He covered hi d**k in Nivea body cream and dis what he did. While he did it he was saying very cruel things and was really hurting me. I was frozen and very scared. I remember I never considered this rape until recently when I everytime I have flashbacks I feel sickened. I can't explain I guess I was with him by choice but I never thought it was rape. I came back home and I remember I had to go to the doctor because I got a severe infection so bad that I was exhausted. He was a doctor in training to be a gynecology specialist. I remember he was saying vulgar things about having access to women's p#$$ys as a gyne.
This happened 13 years ago now, and it makes me cry. I feel as though I was robbed. I guess I removes the thought and turned it into something acceptable. It gives me anxiety. I know who he is and where he works now. I did decide I would make a complaint to GMC but my family would have been destroyed and they would have most likely destroyed me as my culture is not accepting of relationships outside of marriage. Now I'm married and my husband would not really cope with it. But I dont want it being open.
I'm hurting because he got away with it. I get anxiety when I thin k about it. I mean he is practicing now is Australia.