What would you say to a women who told your friend she thinks you are a victim of domestic violence?

[SaturdayNightIn]

Have changed name for this just because it's all a bit odd.

Brief history:

Woman who I vaguely know from school run (on nodding terms only) lives on same street as my good friend.

Good friend gets chatting to this woman who asks odd questions about me and my relationship. Firstly she says I am stand offish, then says she has heard from a previous neighbour of ours that we argue a lot and says "If you ask me there is domestic violence going on there"

This is bollocks.

Now I normally shy away from confrontation but can not ignore this and will say something to her.

Question is, what and how?

Thanks

What did your friend say to her - did she defend you at all? I'm a bit surprised that a good friend would let the other woman get as far as she did without telling her that she wasn't going to gossip about you - but that's beside the point.

With regard to the other woman, I wouldn't bother dignifying her gossip with a response, to be quite honest. She won't believe you anyway.

Presumably your friend told her that she was wrong? Perhaps this woman meant well and was just trying to look out for you, but it does sound quite busybody-ish and gossiping. I?d just ignore it (and her)!

would say nothing to her & ignore her. Sounds like you have a good friend

Yes my friend defended me. She actually laughed at first she was so shocked.

My friend doesn't even know this women, this conversation is the first and last conversation they ever had, and it took place in front of another woman from their street.

I am saying something to her, I will ask her not to gossip about me or my family again.

Accusing my dh of knocking me about is not idle chit chat is it?

I'm not surprised you are upset. I would have to put her straight but I'm like that. I think it is right that you should stick up for you and your family.

You should get the point across that regardless of the fact that your neighbour has heard some shouting (I hear it from my neighbours all the time - who the feck doesn't argue?), your lovely DH would never dream of raising his hand to you. Tell her that you are upset by her busybodying and that if she really thought that you were under threat from dh then she should have spoken to you and not half the bloody neighbourhood.

Let us know how you get on.

Can't believe she has said those things about you

i would ask her what it is that makes her think you suffer from abuse?

when she is unable to give you anything that could suggest it then ask her why she feels it necessary to go and discuss it with neighbours. if you were the victim of DV does she not think you would have bigger things to worry about than gossiping neighbours.

tell her that she is a low life as if she truely believed you were being abused she ahsn't bothered offering any help, just something to chat about.

she is a disgrace

I can't help thinking that if go in all guns blazing she will think you are protesting too much IYSWIM. I would agree though you have to tell her to stop spreading lies (or you will get her for slander.)

No I won't be all guns blazing, I will just politely but firmly ask her to not talk such shit about me or my family again. It's untrue, unfounded and hurtful.

And quite right that you should stand up for your husband.

i would definitely raise the point mamazon said

"if she truely believed you were being abused she ahsn't bothered offering any help, just something to chat about"

horrible woman.