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How to forgive

6 replies

Ellie32 · 28/03/2021 12:53

could do with some feedback. Both my twin sister and I have suffered with infertility. She sadly had a miscarriage following her first IVF cycle but then was successful and now has a 7 month old boy. I always said to her that being 'only' an Auntie would be something that I could be accepting of. It was the lack of any contact with a child that was the most difficult thing for me. During her pregnancy my ivf treatment had been put on hold due to covid. I thought that she would want me around during the first few weeks to help out, I saved up my annual leave but she didn't contact me to make any plans. When it came to it my dad phoned me one day to tell me that she was in hospital in labour. She phoned me a day later telling me I couldn't visit for a couple of weeks and I wouldn't be allowed to hold him. She has made no comments at all about how I might be feeling or asked me about my fertility treatment. I was unable to visit again as my area went into a higher tier. My ivf treatment is still ongoing. I'm upset that she didn't ask me how I might be feeling, she didn't refer to me as an auntie and it felt to me like she has cut me out. As twin sisters I thought we had a closer bond than this, after everything she has been through I have found it difficult to understand how she could treat me like this. I want to forgive her and move forward but I feel so let down and she seems unwilling to accept any fault. My family think that I'm being unreasonable.

OP posts:
DioneTheDiabolist · 28/03/2021 13:03

You've both been through difficult times in a difficult time. I dont think your sister has done anything wrong, she may not have done things how you wanted OP, but unless you think she intended to hurt you, she hasnt done anything wrong.Flowers

Ellie32 · 28/03/2021 13:19

That's very helpful to know thank you. I'm absolutely sure that she didn't intend to hurt me.

OP posts:
brushlaptop · 28/03/2021 13:29

Her behaviour seems a little harsh, but it's possible that she's got post natal depression or something similar, it makes people act really out of character

DioneTheDiabolist · 28/03/2021 13:31

I think that atm, you are feeling the pain of infertility and separation and when you're in such a situation it's too easy to focus on the negatives as the joy is, sometimes literally, out of reach. The lifting of Covid restrictions will hopefully help, as will resuming your IVF.

In the meantime look after yourself OP and let love and time heal you.Flowers

jimsturgeon · 02/04/2021 05:40

I don't think your sister has done anything wrong.
slitherio

emeliasanford · 08/12/2023 04:14

Let time heal your wounds.
Super Mario

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