Ideas please. friend and i disagree over one big issue and we are stuck ...

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I have a lovely friend who I meet once a week or so. Her DD and mine are great friends and all is lovely except...
Her DD goes to a lovely infants school walking distance from her home. My DD goes to another lovely school also walking distance of my home. But my DD is in a private pre prep and my friend has a real bee in her bonnet.
She is very anti private education. I respect her views , I really do. But my DD is my child, I love her school, she is happy and it is my choice.
We have discussed ad nauseum. I do not feel one school is superior to the other - we have each chosen the school we love and both our DD's are very happy. I thought once they were actually at school the lecturing would stop but it hasn't. She constantly asks about DD's school and then looks to criticise .
I am pretty relaxed generally and i don't get wound up but it is starting to wear me down. 90% of the time i am with her is great and we enjoy ourselves but she always brings it up and I am starting to react badly.
I have actually said something to the effect that this is becoming and issue and if she can't let it go and see past my choices then we were going to have problems.But it still gets raised.
I don't think she is generally very happy with her lot so I do sympathise but I am begining to feel that she is making herself feel better by giving me a kicking every now and again.
So - finally my question is, what can I do to stop this coming up again. is there some tactic I have missed that i could use to get her to drop it? What would you ladies do?
Any ideas for me to mull would be welcome

You need to be straight with her and tell her it's none of her business and you no longer want to discuss the issue.

Yes, the entire Labour party are anti private education until they get to a point where they can afford it ...

Could this be the problem?

I'd use the broken record technique, ie every time she raises it, say "I think we've discussed our school choices enough now and I'd like to talk about something else. If you don't respect that, I'm going to have to see less of you because I'm now feeling quite upset by it"

When family or friends go off on one on a subject I don't care to discuss I usually go for the ridiculous - if your friend was asking what activities they do I would answer something like 'creative self mutilation' or 'ritualised sodomy'. Said with a really straight face and acting like I'm talking about the weather.

They soon get the message and drop the subject

And if they don't I can have fun winding them up.

I am very politically and philosophically opposed to private education, and I do find it very very difficult to keep my mouth shut when I'm with friends whose children are at private school. So I do sympathize with your friend! But I do value my friendships, so I manage to shut up most of the time. Nothing more boring than someone banging on about their principles. (Sometimes I have to really bite my tongue - especially if one of mine reaches some milestone sooner than one of the private school children! ) I think you have to tell her straight - you can quote me if you like!

(For the record, I could afford it - I choose not to)

Thanks ladies.
I have tried changing the subject and told her i don't want to discuss anymore but it hadn't occured to me to tell her that it was starting to upset me - which i think it actually is. I think that is a really good idea. Thanks Irises

Seeker. I admire your self control . I have honestly listened to her views and I do respect other people opinions on this. Private education isn't a black and white issue for me either ( i always have the indignation of my very socialist father in my head to shout down ) but i've made my choice. I don't mind explaining and discussing , which i guess is where your discussions with friends come from. But I am now constantly having to defend myself and whilst I NEVER bring school up she will shoehorn it into the most remote converstaions! I am also not comepetetive mum in the slightest. DS2 has profound special needs so the fact that DD is a happy average child is a gilt edged gift from the gods in my book - other kids can whizz past her milestones as long as she is happy and healthy.

Ib - I think ritualised sodomy isn't introduced until year 2 is it . Now THAT will be my last resort option.

Desi - hmm. hadn't thought of that. Perhaps she isn't actually getting me to defend my choices but using me to defend her own.

Thanks again/ You are all great help. Really didn't ever want to compromise a friendship over which school our kids went to.
I'll let you know how our next meet goes

Could you use a tazer or cattle prod. Bit of aversion therapy?

What a shame she is like this- I feel for you though I have had similar experiences but I am a hard hearted cow and I ditch the friend normally. Perhaps she wants you to ditch the school so that your dds can attend the same school- she sounds like she is feeling a litle worried that her daughter will start to envy your dd? I understand that.

you must say " oh for heavns sake - shut yer gob"

sometimes actions speak louder , next time she mentions it stand up , put on your coat and say time to go Bye! - she'll get the message

How about

You are my friend and I love you, but I don't have to justify my choices to you. If you can't respect that, we have a problem.