Hey everyone. I read a thread on here from 2013 about a similar situation and the thread really helped in making me feel not alone so I wanted to reach out and talk.
I have been with my partner for 2 years. I am (freshly) 30 and he's 36. I am absolutely besotted with him. I've never had a relationship like this, and through the last 2 years have been constantly thinking 'how lucky am I!' I never thought I would have found someone like this and love him very very deeply. (There's been LOTS of frogs!)
A few days ago I pushed to have a conversation I was terrified of having. And the outcome is that my partner doesn't want children. He's spoken about how he's been dead set against it except in the last 6/7 years he's been indifferent. He's said things like a child for him would have to happen 'organically' and 'never say never'. However when I said I needed an answer he told me the answer would have to be 'no' as it would be unfair to lead me on as the answer in a few years time would still most likely be no.
To say I'm broken is an understatement. I have PCOS and Endometriosis so it's most probable that I will need help with conceiving a child and obviously I understand those procedures can't happen with someone who is indifferent.
I have decided to leave our home for some space and rent a room elsewhere but it's the most emotional pain I have ever felt.
I am so confused as at the moment I know heartbreak is trying to dictate my future and I am terrified of giving up a future with kids to regret it in a few years time when ( just for me personally) I feel like it would be too late to meet someone new and have children.
Has anyone been through something similar? What did you do? And what was the outcome? Did you feel as much pain or did you understand it was the right thing to do to walk away?
As I've said dealing with this feels horribly lonely right now, especially in lockdown and I know my friends and family are trying to protect me when they say you'll meet someone else but all it does it make me feel ill. I've had LOTS of relationships, and this one is not just miles above the rest, I have never met another man like him and I'm so scared I'm giving up a future of happiness. Please help