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Original poster

Somebody please tell me what to do

66 replies

nutcracker · 29/10/2004 08:46

I cannot cope with this anymore.
I have been up since 4am trying to figure out how we are going to pay all our bills, buy birthday and xmas pressies and afford to eat this month and i just can't see a way out of it.

So far the only things i have though of is to

a) Sell the computer (would only raise about 100 though)

b) sell the car (would raise enough, but dp uses it to get to work)

c) Not pay the rent which would raise a bit but put the house at risk.

If anyone has any ideas at all i would love to hear them.
I have tried and failed to get a job and just feel so sick about the whole thing now that i wish i could just dissapear off the face of the earth.

OP posts:
Clayhead · 29/10/2004 08:49

Nutty, I don't have many ideas at the moment but my gut instinct says please don't not pay the rent...

MummyToSteven · 29/10/2004 08:53

Hi Nutty, sorry you feel so low. Not got much experience on this - sure some people will come along later with better tips.

My inclination would be to stuff birthday and xmas presents (or maybe get them from car boot sales/2nd hand shops). What some people do for younger kids is give them older kids toys at Xmas. Eating and paying your bills are way more important. I don't think selling the computer would be a good idea (I think it would cut off your contacts with the online MN/MSN world). Re:the car. Could DP get to work on public transport feasibly? How would the cost of a bus/train pass compare to cost of petrol insurance? My other concern about you selling valuable assets when you are feeling desperate is that you would jump at the first offer, and sell if for less than it was worth

Rather than not pay the rent, which would just add to your stress, one possibility would be to speak to the utility companies and try to negotiate some sort of instalment payments for the bill.

Is it just Xmas that is tipping your finances over the edge? Or does the financial problems run more deep than that?

childmindersam · 29/10/2004 08:54

I know how hard a tight budget is. Where do you shop! You can spend a small amount on food and still eat well. Shop own food isnt bad tasting and the kids will never know the difference. Tell your kids that if they want presents at christmas they will have to cut down on treats ie crisps, chocolate etc im sure they wont notice much!

WigWamBam · 29/10/2004 08:54

Nutty, have you tried the CAB? They give great, free, advice on any financial problems and they're non-judgemental too.

Original poster
nutcracker · 29/10/2004 08:57

This time of year is always bad as the kids birthdays are nov and dec and then xmas, but tbh we have been struggling since we moved cos our outgoings went up by about 250 a month but our income stayed the same.

OP posts:
feezy · 29/10/2004 08:57

possibly the rent -but onlyif you don't already have arrears and arrange to catch up over next 3 months. Are the kids having parties at home - my ds got so much from friends he didn't need anything from us. Wait until xmas eve to get lots of 1/2price prezzies. Get a bar job or waitressing.

charliecat · 29/10/2004 08:58

Is there anything on your budget you could do without without incurring fees? Like ditching sky tv or services on your phone like callwaiting etc that you pay for but dont really use?
Dont not pay the rent. Eat economy food for till Xmas and dont get the kids as much for Xmas, Its not worth being in debt for months over Nutty.xx

Original poster
nutcracker · 29/10/2004 08:59

We shop at asda and have really tried to cut back but we always end up running out of stuff then.

I have cut the kids pressies back a great deal already, if i cut them back anymore they will be getting nothing.

OP posts:
charliecat · 29/10/2004 08:59

Why did your outgoings go up so much?

misdee · 29/10/2004 09:00

you've already gfot the girls their bikes for xmas havent you? that just leaves your ds. tell them that the bikes are very expensive. maybe get some paints/crafts stuff as well (from 50p to £5 at ELC)

food wise, you can feed a family of 5 for 40 a week if you shop wisely and make meals from scratch. dh loves cheap shepherds pie, he prefers the value mince from asda, a packet of colemans shepherds pie mix and some tatties. add some veg, you have a family meal for under £3.

throckenholt · 29/10/2004 09:00

don't buy birthday and cnristmas presents (or only 1 small one) - you probably have a houseful of stuff already !

Also try the CAB money advisor - they can help contact people to reschedule payments, and generally helpp you work out your budget.

Food - lots of veggies and mince ?

bonniej · 29/10/2004 09:01

Really feel for you as have been in this situation myself on many occassions. Selling the car would be the biggest saving as it's not just the cost of the car but tax, insurance etc. I wouldn't advise not paying the rent as it will just build up. MTS ideas about prezzies were really good. As long as the kids get something they're not too worried. Have you tried going to Asda for work if you have one near? Our Asda have got loads of vacancies coming up to christmas and they're really flexible with shifts.

charliecat · 29/10/2004 09:01

I always spend loads more when I shop in asda, is there a tescos nearby?

Original poster
nutcracker · 29/10/2004 09:02

Wea re already eating economy food and dd2 was supposed to be having a birthday party this year but i told her she can't cos i just don't have the money.

OP posts:
dot1 · 29/10/2004 09:02

Hi Nutcracker - we're almost at this point ourselves - constantly - if we end up with £10 a month left over we're doing well... dp and I both worked when we were in London, but now we've moved to Manchester I'm the only wage earner, but our expenses are just the same (mortgage, loan, bills etc), so we're living on half the amount (and with another child)...

The only thing I think of when things look desperate is that shops are always looking for staff - especially at this time of year. I've thought on and off I could always do a couple of late evening/night shifts (or dp) while one of us is at home with the kids. It hasn't come to this, and of course we'd be completely knackered, but it's a thought?? Even if only for a couple of months? Also pubs at this time of year aswell. (Sorry - you might not have childcare to be able to do this - I'm not sure)

Another idea is typing - do you type quickly? You could always try putting up ads in universities/colleges near where you are for thesis typing - about £10 an hour - or even in hospitals (via HR). Quite often drs need secretaries to do private typing work for them. Good thing about this is you can do it at home in the evening. Dp has done some editing/transcribing work at home - she did an hour or so each evening, and that's really helped.

Last thing - when we moved up here and I knew money was going to be tight, I reconfigured my big loan (from my reckless student days). Halved the monthly amount I was paying - of course it's going to take even longer to pay off, but that doesn't really matter. Is there anything like this you're paying off that you can re-configure?

Good luck - it's sooooo horrible having money worries.

misdee · 29/10/2004 09:04

can you dp cycle to work? sell the car and get hinm a £40 bike as well.

dot1 · 29/10/2004 09:04

ooh - that's another thing. Each week dp and I write the days of the week on a piece of paper and plan our meals. Then we only buy the food for these meals (plus any essentials - loo roll etc.!). This has really helped with the food bill. We then stick the meal planner up in the kitchen so we don't forget what we're supposed to be eating! It can be a bit boring, so every now and then we try to find a new recipe, but it does help with not buying more than you need at the supermarket.

Right - I'll shut up now..!

gothicmama · 29/10/2004 09:05

pay rent
then pay most urgent bill
then budget for food - make a menu plan and buy only what you need - up to your budgeted amount
tehn pay other bills (or minimum amounts)
Christmas and birthday's could you scale down or try not to plan until teh financial situation is better or go with MTs suggestion - remeber other people usual buy things for kids so they won't go without
try not to sell anythhing unles u absolutely have to but to sell things you need adn teh children benefit from having to buy presents is not really a good option

misdee · 29/10/2004 09:06

shops are always looking for staff at this time of year.

Original poster
nutcracker · 29/10/2004 09:06

CC- the rent went up by 120 a month , the council tax went up by 45 and we have to pay gas now which is about 40 a month, plus the electric is more too.

OP posts:
LIZS · 29/10/2004 09:06

Agree you really need to seek advice from CAB or is there any other advice centre in the area (Please don't go to a loan company for "advice") to help you budget. However this will only work if your dp and family are on board too.

My instinct is Pay the rent (you fought hard for that house you don't want to jeopardise it), pay utilities monthly by DD and only use the car for essential journeys. Make a list each time you visit the supermarket so you are not tempted to buy odd items of clothing or non-essentials and buy things on special offers. Also put the non-essential decorating ideas on hold for a while until you are on a more even keel and forget catalogue/on line shopping for now unless it is a real bargain. The kids will be just as happy with fewer pressies and perhaps you could suggest that you could buy them something for use outdoors in the Spring (that gives you a chance to put a small amount aside each week after Christmas).

Good luck. Just getting things in a perspective and organising yourself will make you feel better.

Original poster
nutcracker · 29/10/2004 09:08

Can't redo my loan cos no where else will accept it.

I have tried four shops for jobs now and got turned down cos i have no experiance or can't work the days they want.

Did think of asking my brother to borrow me money as he does have it but i would feel awful asking.

OP posts:
Merlot · 29/10/2004 09:10

I know its been said before, but I really think you should try CAB. Good Luck and a big hug.

charliecat · 29/10/2004 09:10

Ouch Nutty

misdee · 29/10/2004 09:11

have you tried the supermarkets? they dont care about experience tbh as its easy to train someone to work on tills. and i think you can earn extra working on sundays (used to get double time but they changed this a while ago, think its time and a half). and if you can put in 4 hours each evening, then you could be earning in the region of £150-200 a week. working sundays was the thing that kept me aflout during hard times.