Miscarriage

[SharpMolarBear]

I've just learned that some friends of DH have lost their baby. Must have been coming up to 20 weeks. Just feel so shocked and how on earth do you cope with something like that?

DH plans to call him tonight, but doesn't know what to say. We aren't sure if this was before or after 20 weeks, maybe there were problems picked up on the scan. I can tell him what not to say, but what on earth does he say??

offer your sympathies - how sorry for their loss etc
and offer any practical help - food/shopping etc

Thanks
practical help is not really an option as we live hundreds of miles away
Would it be inappropriate to ask whether the baby was a boy or a girl?

I lost a baby at 20 weeks and swung between wanting people to know every detail about what happened and telling them the name, weight and sex of the baby to not wanting to say anything at all. I think your dp should call to say how sorry he is and let his friends take control of the rest of the coversation. I'm really so sorry for thier loss

let them offer the information to you - sort of let them guide the conversation

goingfor3 - sorry for your loss

Thanks goingfor3, and so sorry to hear you have also been through this. Good advice to let them tell as much or little as they want.