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Is this relationship over?

5 replies

Chascha18 · 31/01/2021 13:46

So let's get some context:
My partner and I met at work in July and we were together for around 6 months. At first, the relationship was amazing and I truly felt loved and appreciated. He was 28 and I was 18 (now 29 and 19).

About a month in, he would have sudden outbursts and shout and insult me before apologising moments later. He put it down to his bad childhood and abusive relationships.

We were living at mine with my mother who decided to hide something of his and wouldn't give it back. He has bad ADHD and if he cannot find something, he will get very upset. We decided to move out for a month and stayed at a friend's house where he continued to have emotional outbursts every so often.

After a month, we moved back in with my mother and carried on. He would still have outbursts and scream in my face and insult me before claiming to be suicidal and apologise. He lost both of his jobs due to either violence or anger.

One day, him and my mother were having an argument and she was shouting and swearing at him so he threw a cup across the room. She called the police and said he was domestically abusing me. He left and when we met up the next day, he said that he still loved me but couldn't live with my mother.

So in November, we moved to the other side of the country and started a new life. However, he would lay in bed all day, have his outbursts and say he was leaving constantly (a common phrase he says). Eventually, we left and moved to London and lived with his parents.

He was a lot calmer apart from our bickers every now and then. We have been here for a month now and we've had 2 big arguments.

But, a week ago, he said that he wanted to be friends while he sorted his mental health out. He doesn't know how he will sort it out or what will happen to us. One minute he says that we could get back together and then he says about being friends permanently. We cuddle but don't kiss or say I love you. He makes jokes about being buddies and it seems like it's all a game to him.

Is it true? Is it his mental health? Does he want someone else and I'm on the back burner? I've spent so much time and money on this life together and I feel like he doesn't care.

OP posts:
user13752257 · 31/01/2021 13:49

He's abusing you. You're describing an abusive relationship.

If it's not already over then it urgently needs to be. And you need to do the Freedom Programme course.

lockedownloretta · 31/01/2021 13:51

he is an abusive prick and you need to leave and go back to your mum's house. why on earth did you move in with someone that you've only known five minutes?
you need to spend some time thinking about your boundaries etc

this man is bad news-get away from him.

thenewduchessofhastings · 31/01/2021 14:21

You need to leave and go back to your mums;it doesn't get better.6 months in and that's an incredible amount of shit to put up with.Imagine how he'd be if you have kids together;do you want kids that are screamed at and possibly hurt by their father?;stay with him and your opening yourself up to a life of misery.

nimbuscloud · 31/01/2021 14:23

Leave as soon as you can
Preferably today

Donann · 01/02/2021 12:55

Where is your self esteem?

You deserve so much better than this man. Run and never look back! X

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