Parks, other kids toys = recipe for disaster!!

[unicorn]

Can anyone please enlighten me to the etiquette as regards to the above.

I tend to be fairly relaxed about other kids 'having a go' with dd or ds toys (if we bring them to the park), as long as they don't blatantly snatch them off them!

But I have noticed some mums/carers are very territorial, not allowing any other kids to play with their children's things.

This usually ends with a (largely) unnecessary tantrum on behalf of ds... and a swift exit...

Surely if parents can't share the toys (in a public playground!) the kids will have no chance?

Thoughts??!!

Oh this sounds so familiar! My dd very often gets tempted by other kids toys. Somehow I have managed to get dd to 'ask' the child and if the child doesn't mind than it can't be an issue... or so I hope. I ususally also try to spot the parent and smile at them assuringly. If nobody is playing with a toy, e.g. usual favourites are bikes and trikes etc. I just tell dd that she has to wait until we get home so she can play with her own. Amazingly that usually works!

Saying that my dd came back the other day from the park with a plush cow she 'acquired' when my dad took her. My dad said it was quite cute as she found the cuddly toy, then walked around to other kids asking them whether it's theirs and then after a few negatives declared 'my cow'. My dad checked with a few parents and nobody claimed it. I felt a bid bad as I would have left the cow somewhere on a bench in the playground to be reclaimed, but my dad didn't want to risk a tantrum as he only sees dd once or twice a year being he lives in Germany.

My boys are always very keen to share their toys, in fact when the kids are playing out in the street ALL our bikes, scooters, trikes, etc. seem to end out in the street every time. I'm very laidback about it, especially as some of the children are visiting grandparents, and therefore don't have their own bikes here.

But I do occasionally wonder if I should be more careful. If one of said children drove into the road on one of our bikes and got knocked down by a car, would the parents sue me?

I agree unicorn, if ds takes a toy to a park then if other kids show interest I let them have a play. We did this in the summer with a bubble blower and ds (2) was fine when we explained that the other children could play with it, but he got to take it home.
If it is something that I know he won't share then we leave it at home.

zubb, that sounds like a sensible idea..
wish a few others would do the same, it's almost torture for my ds to see a toy digger and not be allowed to touch it!!!!

Totally agree Unicorn. I tell DS that if he wants to bring his favourite toys to the playground he must be prepared to share with other children if they ask him nicely. So far (3.5) he is v good at sharing, fingers crossed--but there have been numerous occasions when kids have snatched things from him rather than asking properly, with their carers looking on! I would NEVER let DS get away with that.

I always go with toys and expect ds/dd not to be in the least bit interested in their own toys and totally interested in everyone else's toys. Luckily this usually works in reverse as well (especially if I pick the good toys to bring) and end up with other kids playing with our toys while my two play with their toys. Of course there are always few spoilsports who won't let anyone play with their toys.

Give your DS the biggest digger you can buy, take it to the park, all the other kids will want to play with his toy and at that point you tell them they can't play with it unless your DS can play with their toys
Some parents are just strange like that. I've noticed it happening and, as in your case, my own child has a cry because of it, although she doesn't mind sharing her toys.

Actually Branster, I've found that the smaller diggers (with working parts) are the most popular.

That's actually true SofiaAmes. I once saw a woman in the park with a bag full of (and I'm not exagerating) little yellow/orangey trucks, tractors, diggers etc, all lovely toys and my DD was sooo excited at the sight! However, the woman came up to us and said that DD cannot play with those toys (which were in full view) as her sons would get upset (her sons were playing with something else at the time). I thought she was weird!

roisin, your bike qustion has set me worrying, now. I wonder what the legal position is if a child borrows a toy and gets badly hurt in some way by it?

I agree with my sons, toys taken to the park are for sharing, except very big, mobile toys like bikes and very small toys which could be lost easily.

Unicorn,

I think you are teaching very positive life skills to encourage your children to share in this way.

I took dd swimming yesterday and the toys that David Lloyd provide in the toddler pool are a bit crap, so I took a couple of hers. Although I made it clear to other mums and kids that these were dd's toys (so there was no confusion), I also ensured that dd let other kids have a go with them.