Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Other subjects
Original poster

Teenagers

18 replies

Dinkythats4 · 09/01/2021 18:00

What do you do with a teenager age 16 who keeps flaunting lockdown rules? How do you deal with a rude, secretive teenager who goes out all day and don't come back home until 12:30 at night and do not want to be challenged??? Please help??

OP posts:
Ohalrightthen · 09/01/2021 18:02

Lock the door behind them?

I have no idea, but i really feel for you, I'd be so fucking disappointed with myself and my DD if this was happening to us.

Balhammom · 09/01/2021 18:03

Lock the door. Your home, your rules.

LadyOfTheFlowers · 09/01/2021 18:07

I'd be more concerned about the secretive bit

LadyOfTheFlowers · 09/01/2021 18:07

NOT saying the kid should be flouting lockdown rules but I wonder what they are secretive about

HouseofBrieandBanter · 09/01/2021 18:09

Talk to them, express your worries, ask what’s happening in their lives

Try to talk without judgment (or else clam shut happens)

Original poster
Dinkythats4 · 09/01/2021 18:13

Lock the door? He will kick the door and shout outside and we live in a quite middle class area!! Would be so embarrassed if the neighbors hear him making a fuss outside??

OP posts:
Ohalrightthen · 09/01/2021 18:18

@Dinkythats4

Lock the door? He will kick the door and shout outside and we live in a quite middle class area!! Would be so embarrassed if the neighbors hear him making a fuss outside??
Call the police?

He sounds like he's massively out of control OP, is this new?

MyGirlDaisy · 09/01/2021 18:20

Agree with @HouseofBrieandBanter - try and get them to chat. I wouldn’t be locking the door on a 16 year old, it’s not great they are breaking the rules but I would be more worried about the secretive behaviour. Hope you find out what’s going on.

Squeejit · 09/01/2021 18:22

At 16, who pays his phone bill? Presumably you? And he’s still at school (in normal time).
I’d have his phone off him till he learned to play by the rules.

Original poster
Dinkythats4 · 09/01/2021 18:31

I almost feel very jealous that it doesn't sound as if your teenagers are behaving badly!! I feel terrible because we just don't know what to do and where we have gone wrong? I've been terrible ill in hospital with Covid and are vulnerable and asked him to please not go out and he is saying oh you had it so you immune but it isn't really true?? And he has to a bide by the rules but we think he might have a few dodgy friends? He doesn't want to talk, told us he keeps his problems to himself!!

OP posts:
Ohalrightthen · 09/01/2021 18:35

Does he usually have rules he has to stick to? Or does he get to do what he wants?

Original poster
Dinkythats4 · 09/01/2021 18:41

Yes he has rules. We both teachers me snd my husband so he has rules but he just do not follow it!! He literally just ignores us and go mental if challenged. He has been diagnosed with ASD.... and does have a worker but no one can seen to tell him what to do!! He is such a disappointment! It only started after he turned 14 .... he makes references like he is fending for himself because we are too strict!! It's a utter nightmare... a utter nightmare and we never know where he is? Never? He refuses to answer his phone or he blocks us? How do other parents cope with teenagers?? Thank you

OP posts:
MyGirlDaisy · 09/01/2021 18:55

The majority of teenagers push the boundaries in some way or another, some, despite everything their parents do, will not behave as we would wish them to. Is he at school still? I know it’s difficult at the moment but if he is perhaps have a conversation with the pastoral and safeguarding leads. Express your concerns, believe me, they will have heard it all before and they are still providing support despite lockdown. There is no shame in asking for help and support and better to try and curb the behaviour now. Does your son have older siblings or cousins that he confides in? A grandparent? Sometimes it’s better if it comes from someone else if he won’t open up to you.

MyGirlDaisy · 09/01/2021 18:57

Sorry,just read you are teachers, my post crossed with yours!

Original poster
Dinkythats4 · 09/01/2021 19:37

Yep very embarrassing teachers to have a teenager out of control!!! So embarrassing!! Very emotional about it and looking to hear how other parents cope with teenagers???

OP posts:
MyGirlDaisy · 09/01/2021 23:56

I really feel for you, I only mentioned your profession as I had referenced contacting his school but then realised you would know about support etc when I read your last post. Teens are teens, doesn’t matter what your job is.
When mine were teens I had to pick my battles, at 16 he is going to want some independence. What does he enjoy doing? Can you chat with him about sport or other things he enjoys? Will he cook? Can you do something together that isn’t focussed on the rules so you can start to break down the barriers. Does his support worker have a good rapport with him, if so, can you all try to work together? Hope it sorts itself out.

margretsmith · 16/07/2021 15:59

okay so i would say try and talk to him but that doesn't always help. because he may just get annoyed by this. but flaunting lockdown rules is not okay and he needs to understand that you need to somehow make it clear to him that he is putting all of you in danger. he may say "but we are fine here nothing has happened" but you never know when it could happen. my daughters year at school has gone into lockdown because of 5 cases. it can happen anywhere. you need to be brutally honest in situations like this. and take action.

margretsmith · 16/07/2021 16:01

at this point something needs to happen in order for him to see clearer and realise what he is doing

New posts on this thread. Refresh page