I feel sad for my dd

[jampot]

dd started at secondary school in September - not our catchment school but one about 3 miles away where she knew a couple of people (not from school). Anyway since she started she has made some friends but tells me now she feels she doesn;t fit in. Granted it is in a more affluent area but there are definitely families who are worse off than us that go there so not financial. There are other children in her year who have come "out of area" and didn;t go to the feeder schools. She feels one girl in the group she is in doesn't really like her and it turns out she is having a party and has invited everyone but my dd to it! This same girl messaged my dd a couple of weeks ago and i swear my dd's face lit up but all she wanted was the history homework - i felt very sad for dd. To cap it all her 2 closest friends from primary school have obviously moved on and not make contact despite dd's initial phone calls to see how they got on in their first few days. Not sure what I can do - can anyone offer advice?

Talk to her tutor and see if he/she can subtly do engineering so that your dd is doing some activities/jobs with other kids who would be suitable/likely friends.

I really don't know as my kids are younger, but what about if she invited some friends over for tea ????? or maybe if your having some fireworks invite them along.

It must be so hard, I know this is not the same, but my ds has just started school and there are loads of parties going on and he hasn't been invited to any of them. You feel so helpless, I hope she sorts it out and feels OK soon

I so feel for her as something similar happened to me. My parents moved me in my last year of primary and I went up to secondary not really knowing anyone. I met a couple of girls there and we were friends throughout school and one of them is still my best friend. She went to a totally different primary and we've been best mates for 23years. She may feel isolated but it will get better.
I see lots of kids go through this in their first few weeks until they really find their feet.
How about you take her out somewhere nice on the night of the party. she WILL make friends- it just may not ne straight away-

Poor kid I think pixiefish is right and she will find her feet. I didn't know a soul when I started at secondary school, I was very shy, and I found it very hard going at first (longed to be back in the security of primary school). But I got there eventually - it's only been half a term so very early days yet.

Maybe she's a girl who will make one or two best friends rather than being part of the in-crowd (though I'm sure she just wants to be part of the in-crowd atm). If there's a girl who seems friendly how about a Friday video and pizza night?

It's so hard, isn't it - you want to solve all their problems for them and some they have to sort out themselves I hope she finds a friend soon (your post has taken me right back to starting secondary school - what a nightmare).

Oh and the girl who has invited everyone but your dd sounds a right bitch - I hope she gets a big zit on her chin the morning of the party!

Awww your poor dd I remember once being out of the 'in' crowd it's awful. Girls seem to be worse for it than boys but I may be wrong?

Are there any school clubs she could go to? If you try to encourage her to smille and be friendly to people she'll probably find some nice friends soon. And if she's already doing this even sooner I hope.

We all knew girls like party b when we were at school. Probably spoilt rotten?