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Original poster

Well done to an extremely brave FF

91 replies

spacemonkey · 21/10/2004 13:50

I hope the title's OK ff. You are so brave. Thank god your ordeal's over now. Lots of love from lou and monkey XXX

OP posts:
Frenchgirl · 22/10/2004 20:28

what a brave thing to do FF!!! well done, so glad it went your way.
xxx

fairyfly · 23/10/2004 15:18

I have stopped sleeping, can't get it out of my head and really don't know how im going to sort this one out. I feel absolutely terrible, i never wanted him to go to prison and the guilt is overwhelming. I should have just spoke to him im sure and asked him not to do it again or i would ring the police. I never gave him a chance, i think it is a really unforgiving action, im absolutely terrified i am going to feel bad about this forever. The entire experience is a nightmare. So there it is, i am not celebrating.

codswallop · 23/10/2004 15:23

ff hoof yourself onto msn

codswallop · 23/10/2004 15:26

ff?

fairyfly · 23/10/2004 15:27

Im on???

fairyfly · 23/10/2004 15:28

May have to add you again i think, your name doesn't show

codswallop · 23/10/2004 15:28

HMm add me on
its my surname at hotmail

codswallop · 23/10/2004 15:28

have lost yours
its curry realated isnt it

fairyfly · 23/10/2004 15:29

It is, and then the usual

hercules · 23/10/2004 15:31

You didnt decide his punishment. A judge did. That is why we have such a system so a fair punishement is given and not decided by the victim.

DH and I were attacked once and the guy got 3 months inside.

We were surprised but it was fair.

You have no reason to feel guilty!

codswallop · 23/10/2004 15:31

no mine is palying silly buggers at the moment
I havent got your email adress any more I dont hink

will lokk

codswallop · 23/10/2004 15:39

well ff the point is that you cant decide fro yourself wheter he is a risk - it s not up to you - the court decided that he was a risk to other women and the community at large so YOu didnt put him in prison. so your guilt - although understandable is missplaced. do you see what i Mean?

I feel for you though. Hope this passes soon

jampot · 23/10/2004 15:42

ff - you may have been just one of many women he has done this to. Prison sentences aren;t handed out lightly and as C says the Judge decided he was a danger to others (and she should know)

codswallop · 23/10/2004 15:45

rememebr all those battered wives who dont press charges and how cross we feel when they wont testify agains t their abusers?

think of what you woudl say to one of them in that situation and think of what YOU woudl say to YOu in YOUr situation
IYSWIM

ponygirl · 23/10/2004 15:49

FF - just wanted to say well done and congratulations for having the strength to go through the whole court thing. I hope when the shock wears off you can feel really proud of yourself, because you did an extraordinarily hard and brave thing. Obviously I don't know the details of your case, but I have enough faith in the justice system to think that this person would not have got 5 years if he didn't deserve them. Don't feel guilty, you did the right thing. Love xxxx

suzywong · 23/10/2004 15:53

You did the right thing

Your boys will be very proud of you

fairyfly · 24/10/2004 13:33

Thanks, all i can have faith in is that i just told the truth and everything else was pretty much out of my hands

edam · 24/10/2004 13:49

Quite right, FF. He may have a record or something that you don't know about that affected his sentence. It was up to the judge to decide the sentence in terms of punishment for the crime, danger to the community and other factors. The pre-sentence reports might have turned something up... the term isn't your responsibility, as you said, you just told the truth and that's all you can do. And it means other women are protected from him for the next couple of years at least. Hopefully they may put him on a sex offenders programme.
Bloody well done that woman, I'm proud of you. And glad that one of these b*stards has been put away.

lou33 · 24/10/2004 13:53

dh says you are an inspiration ff. He agrees with everyone else, and says not only does this man need to be shown that his actions are wrong, but it also shows others who may be thinking about similar crimes what the outcome can be, and hopefully stop them before they start.

marthamoo · 24/10/2004 15:01

Absolutely true, lou. FF, you have no need to feel guilty - you didn't make him do what he did, he did it, and he deserves the consequences. You stood up for yourself, and for all of us. If he had got away with it, next time it could have been far worse. You are a bloody marvel to have gone through all this and come out the other side.

Put it behind you now - you have been so brave and so strong, I am truly amazed by your courage. Your boys are so lucky to have someone like you for a Mum! It's time to look forward now - Christmas, New Year and a new start. 2005 is going to be fairyfly's year!!!

pixiefish · 24/10/2004 15:09

agree with marthamoo, lou and all. you MUST NOT feel guilty. You didn't tell him to do what he did. you DID THE RIGHT THING in reporting it straight away- just think how you'd have felt if he'd done it again. look to the future now ff.

fairyfly · 25/10/2004 11:28

I'm not feeling guilty anymore infact pretty pissed off. Neighbours have found out and started telling me all the shitty things he has been up to, he is revolting. But perhaps if they had told me or someone else before i could have been spared from his perverse actions. Glad i've put an end to it i just wish it had been done earlier.

captainCOD · 25/10/2004 11:48

hooray - and I bet you have had a goiod nights sleep too -t hat laways makes things seem a LOT better.

fairyfly · 25/10/2004 11:55

I captain, i went to bed and slept without the stress of listening out for noises. I think i was just having some weird mental reaction for the last couple of days.

suzywong · 25/10/2004 11:55

Good on ya FF