Hi everyone.
I am expecting a massive bashing for this and understand that posting on mumsnet means I will get everyone's opinions, bad or good. Although I don't think it will be any good ones.
So I have been with my husband for 15 years, married 5. Prior to getting married he knew I was in a lot of debt and was terrible with money. For years I have been trying to sort out money and contact step change etc but nothing is firmly in place as yet. Due circumstances changing all the time they wouldn't put anything in place. For example being on maternity leave, being back at work then falling pregnant again.
About 3 years ago we did manage to save up and buy a house, that is souly in my husbands name.
When I fell pregnant with my LB it was not planned but he has been the best thing ever. My maternity leave lasted between 9-10 months and to be honest financially we were making terrible decisions. Both of us. We had a few thousand saved up but took out credit cards and were living a lifestyle my maternity leave pay couldn't handle.
I am now 22 weeks pregnant with our second child. We have paid off 2 of the credit cards however there is still a loan outstanding of around £2k. I am due a bonus in March of around £1k which we were planning on using to pay that off. We were hoping that by the time my maternity leave started we would be in a much better financial situation.
However. I have been keeping a massive secret from my husband and have only just told him this morning. A credit card that he asked me close over a year and a half ago, I have racked up £7500 on it. If I am honest I don't really know what on. My little boy has never wanted for anything probably because of what I have done. I had been giving my husband money every month to try and pay off the other debt that in turn I accrued more. Also to add, the debt is actually in my husbands name.
As fully expected my husband is beyond furious. Told me not to contact him and he is going to stay with his parents today. He said he will call the police. I have called the credit card company today and explained but they have said their security team is not in until Monday.
I guess I should have expected this response from my husband. I have explained how sorry I am and that I will take full responsibility and pay it off or transfer it to my name. I feel so beyond awful. I cannot believe I have done this to him. He is honestly such an amazing man and I will regret losing him.
I am sick for my little boy and my little boy due in March. I can't believe I have done this.
I can't imagine he will want to work things out but I am just so worried about how where I will go etc. I have had a fallen out about 4 months ago with family over them accusing my husband of starting arguments. Which was not the case at all and actually the responsibility lies with my dad.
I don't have family that can or would help me out with this.
I can't begin to tell u just how much I regret this.
Money is probably one of the only things we majorly argue about and I have said to him he can take control of my finances ie wages into his account and I will seek help to stop the spending. I don't think he is interested.
I understand that I have broken trust on another level. Just feel so ashamed at myself for this and it certainly was not worth all the crap I was buying racking up this debt.