how do you handle it if your close friend persistantly annoys you.......?

[bubblepop]

ie; with thoughtless comments ? its been so many times now i can feel resentment building up on my part. we went out in a group a few nights ago,and after a few glasses of wine she commented that i really used to annoy her with the way i parented my 2nd ds (he was v.clingy and i was not hard enough with him in her opinion). Another time when she'd had a few she had a go at me about my choice of school,theres been loads of things said over the years.
most of the time, we have a good laugh and she is good fun, i just can't be doing with her opinions put upon me constantly. my gut instinct is to gradually wind down the friendship rather than stand up for myself which i know will cause a stink and be brought up forever more in the future,what would you do?

Follow your gut instinct - I would.

IME some people seem to think it is ok to make passing comments like this and others, like you and me, don't. I don't think it necessarly means they are malicious or trying to upset you - they are just being thoughtless. At least she said it to your face. Are you a fairly easy going person? If so, I think your friend may be taking this for granted and feels she can say these things because you will take it on the chin.

If you confide in your friend and she knows a lot about the day to day details of your life, draw back a little, so she has less to comment on. You can still be friends with her, just gloss over stuff you suspect she will have an opinion on!

However, if she tends to gossip about mutual friends to you, and pass negative judgement on them as well, then the chances are she is being two faced about you, too and it's time to distance yourself from her much more.

Ive a friend who does this. Shes said things about a shop where i buy clothes in and even complained about receiving benefits. My dh works but i receive dla for my two sons who have sn. The ironic thing is when we were growing up her parents never had a job so she grew up on benefits where as my parents always worked. She ended up going to uni and getting a good job and is single and has only ever one bf for a short time so im wondering if shes just a bit narky as shes frustrated and taking it out on me1 Either that or she gets bad pmt sometimes. She is nice in a lot of ways but the past couple of years i dont know if its jealousy or what but shes changing and is getting quite selfish and i dont think she realises.