when to give a four year old more freedom

[lucyk]

when do other mumsnetters let their kids go around on their own in the house especially upstairs when i am downstairs

I do this now, for limited times, and ds is 3. The house is safe re windows and plugs, etc, but I don't let him play on his own for long. And if it goes quiet, I run like the wind .....

i follow ds around all day and the house is child safe maybe i could use the old baby
intercom

I feel its ok at the age of 3 (preschool) as long as they are good going up and down stairs alone and if all the other bedroom and bathroom doors are shut. I would only allow them in their own room with the door open as long as there is nothing they can get hurt on. Especially high shelves to climb on or outlets not covered. They can do the craziest things.

lucyk, I've let my ds go around the house on his own for ages. When we moved to our current house he was 3 y 5 mo and I was happy for him to be on his own for as long as he liked but he never seemed to want to be far away from me for very long then. We do have stairs but he was completely ok on them, all plug sockets have covers etc, windows were shut and couldn't be opened, and nothing terrible ever happened. I would be able to hear him if I was at the top of the house but only if he shouted loudly enough!

Now he's nearly 5 he's certainly allowed on his own all over the house. In fact, if he wasn't there is no way we would be able to get ready for work in the morning (he's given breakfast, gets dressed and then has to amuse himself for half an hour while we get ready). He knows about not touching the kettle, oven etc, he knows how to turn the telly on, but not how to get the channel he wants (note to self: must work on that one!) and he sometimes seems very happy playing on his own as long as he knows where we are. OK, he very occasionally does something he shouldn't, like drag a chair over to the cupboard to stand on to get any left over cakes he thinks might be on the top shelf but hey, he's careful and I admire his resourcefulness! Mmm, must put them lower down so he doesn't need the chair though...

He still won't be on his own for that long, just because he wants to know where we are so will eventually come and find me/us if we're not in the same room but our house is safe for his age and for us, this feels right. HTH.

I would have thought it depends on the child and the house. My son is 22 mo. and is so curious and fearless that he manages to injure himself while I am in the same room as him and watching him. And just because he has leapt off the side table with wheels onto the sofa and missed therefore smashing his head on the radiator, doesn't mean he isn't going to try it again 2 minutes later after getting a kiss on the injured spot from mummy. However my friend's son who is 20 mo. isn't even interested in opening her kitchen cabinets, much less pulling over a chair to see what is happening on the upper levels. She can already leave him alone downstairs while she goes upstairs to the toilet (something that only happens with my ds in my dreams). I'm sure she will be letting her son loose in their house much sooner than I do mine.

My 4 year old dd loves to be on her own and it is something that I encourage - to a degree. Her room is obviously child proofed and I am confident that she is fine when playing up there (3rd floor). However, I keep an eye on her if she is in the bathroom for awhile (things tend to be excessively washed!) and of course in the kitchen. I have found that you gain some sort of sixth sense in knowing what they are up to. Used to confuse me as a child that my Mother would know if I was up to mischief and now I find that I can do this too Having said all this, I did look behind the armchair in her room and discovered a work of art on the wall in crayon - she did say when questioned about this 'I never thought that you would look behind there'!!! Now I wonder what else she might have done while playing 'quietly' on her own