Not sure where to put this- question about premature babies

[RBH]

Hi a relative of mine just gave birth to a daughter at 31 weeks and weighing just under two pounds. They have been told the next 6 weeks are critical. Does anyone know the best place for me to find out info about things like survival rate? Sorry not really sure how to put into words everything that is going on in my head.

Hi My DS1 was born at 29 weeks and I was so proud of him and wantyed everyone to know! My hospital room was filled with flowers, cards and offers of help. It made it much easier for me to cope with the 2steps forward and one step back routine of the next 7 weeks in hospital. We were living in NZ at the time with no family and one of the best things that hap[peded was that a group of friends had a rota to deliver food to us each evening for the first 2 weeks we were home and then lots of freezer food. It was great as I was expressing every 2 hours and had neither DH no I had the time or the energy to make any food at all let alone any decent stuff. It will be shocking for them, possibly a few days in rather than straight away and they may well find the 'set backs' of needing to go back on CPAP for breathing support etc quite difficult. If you can listen and be supportive that wold be a great help. Sorry for the ramble - hope some of it made sense!

TiggyWinkle, my DD was 5 1 1/2 and they said the same to me, about size, apparently that could have been why she developed a pneumathorax, something to with her trying to breath against the ventilator, and her size (I have no idea why though)

HI. I've had 3 prem babies, DS at 26 weeks - 1lb 13, DD1 22 weeks - didn't survive and DD2 at 30 weeks - 2lb 6.
The survival rates varied with many different factors so can't really advise on that...however.
With my 1st (DS), we were both very ill. I got a mix of gifts. My sister sent flowers and an Its A Boy balloon. I loved the flowers as they cheered the room up, but hated the balloon. I wasn't in a good place and didn't want the reminder. I got a mix of congrats and thinking of you cards. In that instance, the best gifts were flowers and genuine offers of useful help (cleaning, bringing in food cos hospital meals were crap, updating family - the constant stream of phone calls got tiring)
With my 3rd, DD2, I knew she was coming early and wanted the big congrats that 'normal' babies get, felt liked I had always missed out on the fuss.
Babies are us and mothercare do tiny clothes if that helps.
Oh and of course, another round of pressies and cards for the homecoming. That was when we had our big celebration.
PS It doesn't hurt less having them smalles, they still cut you open / get you to 10cm. I know you wouldn't be that insenstivie, but you won't believe how many people are.
Hope this helps.
XXX

My dd was born at 32 weeks and was on the unit where I worked!

NICUs are generally excellent at keeping parents up to date on how their lo is doing. Parents are usually encouraged to attend ward rounds although they would have to leave the room when other babies are being discussed.

Life often is two steps forward and one step back in these situations but the survival rate is really very good for babies similar to the one you describe.

Best wishes and congratulations to your relative's friend.

My DD2 was born at 34 weeks and was desperately poorly.

I still appreciated congratulatory cards and flowers as I had still given birth and had my baby (even though her prognosis was uncertain).

We also appreciated all practical help, such as lifts to and from hospital when I was discharged, food bringing in, books and magazines to read (the hours sat by an incubator can be long and boring, I read to occupy my mind and also read to DD2).

I would send a card, and maybe a little 'thinking of you' gift (maybe some lovely bubble bath for mum?)

My ds2 was born at 28 wks & was very poorly & suffered complications.
The SCBU are very good at caring for the entire family & part of that is making sure the parents understand every aspect of the babies care & are involved in choices about treatment etc.

At the time i didn't think about congratulations etc BUT all the cards & messages are lovely to look back on & have on display when the baby is allowed home encourage everyone to take a camera in if they go to see the baby if the parents are happy for this.
I wish i'd taken more as I forgot to do all the nice new baby things, although he was covered in tubes etc they were still his first weeks & months.

Is this your relatives first baby, for us our other big concern was who was looking after ds1, our hospital is an hours drive away so I really appreciated anyone who offered to bring ds1 up to see us or once i was discharged drive me to the hospital.

It is the worst feeling in the world to go home & leave your new baby at the hospital, its one big emotional rollercoaster.

sorry that was a bit long - but cheaper than therapy

She is their first child. The latest I have heard is that the baby is stable and will probably be moved to a specialist unit in the next couple of days and the mum should be home in two days.

Having seen everybodies messages I have sent a text saying congratulations and that all three of them are in our thoughts. DD1 is going to paint a picture for the baby to look at.

Thank you again for everyone sharing their stories and for all your good wishes. Hopefully I will be able to update this periodically with good news.

DS1 was born at 35 wks and spent 3 very scary weeks in SCBU after being diagnosed with the GBS infection. It was such an isolating time and I was so comforted when my friends and relatives sent me all the 'normal' baby stuff, cards & gifts. It meant so much to my DH and I that others reacted as they did, I think it would have been even worse had ppl not reacted normally. I was in hosp for 3 wks as well, as was so glad for all the support that my DH and I were given - esp as DS1 was born during the festive period. All you can do is be there for them and offer as much pratcical and emotional support as you can.

My ds was born at 34 weeks, due to my bp being all over the place (had a previous pregnancy and lost first ds at same stage). He is now 5 and doing well at school, all his "normal" "development" "markers" have been late - but he is kind natured. Support them the best you can SCBU are fantastic,

Well the baby is now 2lbs 1oz and is breathing on her own so everything is going well so far. Sent them some tiny vests for 3lb babies so hoping to get a photo of her in them in a few weeks. And the hospital are being brilliant which means that I am definitely not so worried for the mum. Hopefully I will be letting everyone know that the baby is on her way home in the not too distant future.

Thanks again to everyone for sharing their stories and all your support.

RBH that's great seriously for a baby to breathing on her own after just a week or so. And to have already put on weight

Hi

I had a 25 weeker 7 yrs ago and he had all the problems babies that early have. he is now 7 yrs old and one of the brightest boys in his class. he weighed just over a pound and was ventilated for a long time, had a heart op at Great ormond street. he also had a mild bleed on his brain and was very underweight for a long time. he is extremely tall now!

I then went into labour at 28weeks with my second child and they managed to stop it but the people from SCBU came to talk to me and put my mind at rest. Normally at 28weeks the survival rate is almost 100% and usually no long term problems arise. the baby would have been small and staying in hosp till she is big enough but i didnt worry at all (after what i went thru at 25weeks, 28 weeks is MUCH more promising. My daughter came on time in the end
I hope this puts your mind more at rest. If you wanna talk, mail me

let us know how things go

Just a quick update and yet more thanks to all the folks that gave such good advice!

The baby has now been home for a little over a week. She is now 4lb 2oz and piling on the weight. Hoping to see the happy family over Christmas. All well and happy. Yay!