Not sure if I should, or if I should mind my own business...
Longish term male neighbour (E) is a narcissist. When his previous relationship (D was nice) ended he was on his own for a while then started internet dating. Found someone (C) 1500 klms away and after 6 months of corresponding, C moved away from her home town and friends to be with E here.
C, another neighbour and I went on a couple of dinner dates. C suffers from anxiety and would frequently have to leave the table. However, over dinner C told us of the lies E had told her to get her to move in with him. Her friends were also not allowed to visit his property (it is a dump surrounded by a very high double-height fence). However, C was still trying to persuade E to get married as it was one of her ''conditions'' of moving in.
E being a narcissist, had also put the boot in re other neighbours as well as his former GF. Typical narcissist crap, but it upset me to hear C speak of D badly despite not having met her.
I tried unsuccessfully to organise more outings for C however she would accept first up, but within 24 hours cancel out or not follow through with making a fixed date and time.
In the end, I drifted away.
Three years ago, another woman from our village asked me if I thought C was in an abusive relationship. She had been approached by a business owner she knew in the town where C worked who saw her every day. C was going to their shop and in her words, ''it was the only place she felt she had a clear head''... I replied that I thought yes, E was a control freak and how I could never talk to C without E standing with her, even calling her away mid-conversation.
C was apparently buying small items to make herself feel better, but told the shop owner she had to hide them by the time she got home so E would not find what she had bought...
I left it with the village woman as I didn't feel at the time there was anything I could do. That it was up to her and the shop owner to take C under their wing. Never knew if they had done anything about their concerns.
Recently C has been out of work so I tried to arrange a time to meet over a cuppa. Again was unable to fix a day and time and just sounded vague. Said that she had x amount of jobs to do when E was at his work.
However, I then received a series of abusive messages via messenger from her account. I caught on that the speech was not C's normal way of writing, and realised it was E. Around 11pm C messaged, not apologising, but saying E had gone through her messenger account after she had gone for a shower.
She asked that we (both couples) meet up to clear the air, however with lockdown/covid that hasn't occurred. We have been in the position several times where E can see us, but he turns his back or doesn't acknowledge us. Neither of us here could give a fat rats arse about the jerk, so we are not bothered to chase him/them up over the messages that he sent...
However late last week, the son of a former work colleague of C's came out for business reasons. He said that (without prompting, just knew they were our neighbours) both C & E were weird.
Nothing surprising there, at least we are not the only ones to think the same, but what he did say was C had to stop and put petrol in her car every morning before going into work, to the value of what two cups of coffee would be! That would have only been enough fuel to get her to work and back...
C had previously said to me that E was the ''man of the house'' and he ran their money. I'm now wondering if that is another way he is controlling her and her movements and if I should speak to the police and ask them to go and see if she is ok...? Drugs and alcohol are an issue in the home for both of them.
What do you think? - hope this makes sense.