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Original poster

All the parents who put a fiver in a card as a birthday present for ds: lazy swine or perfectly sensible to allow him to buy what he wants?

32 replies

WideWebWitch · 06/10/2007 20:47

I'm not sure what I think on this one.
Ds had a 10th birthday party today and LOTS of his guests put money in the cards rather than turning up with a present.

It's never crossed my mind to do this, I usually buy something for ds to take to parties. My sisters, who were here, both thought the parents giving cash were lazy bastards, I'm not sure what I think really.

What do you reckon?

OP posts:
Original poster
WideWebWitch · 06/10/2007 20:48

He got £55 in total btw
He had 12 people at his party, I think there was the odd tenner in there

OP posts:
emkana · 06/10/2007 20:48

Hmm, don't know, because he's a bit older I think they were just unsure what to buy and probably figured that with some cash he could buy a new x-box or whatever game?

Would hate it for a younger child though.

unknownrebelbang · 06/10/2007 20:49

Bit of both really.

SNOWBall4girlz · 06/10/2007 20:49

not sure but a ten year old is hard to buy for?

cash is great he can choose

Tamum · 06/10/2007 20:49

It's a bit soulless, isn't it. I can see that it could be sensible, but it just seems like lack of forethought really.

LadyVictoriaOfCake · 06/10/2007 20:50

i think its fine for an older child, as it actually gives them the choice to get what they want, rather than lots of small gifts which he may not be interested in.

moondog · 06/10/2007 20:51

I think it's fine.#Can go towards something they really want.
Lets face it,what kid needs more plastic tat.

I ban birthday presents altogether for my kids.

RustyBear · 06/10/2007 20:51

I know my two at that age would rather have £55 so they could buy something good that they really wanted than have a lot of smaller presents - and by the time they're 10, their tastes are much more difficult to predict.

WotzNow · 06/10/2007 20:54

I think for older children it is fine. My dds have come back saying XX got XX and wants to buy footy boots or similar.

Why not? You run out or room otheriwse for all those Bithday gift presents.

BecauseImWereWolfit · 06/10/2007 20:55

As they get older it gets much harder to know what they like. And bits of plastic are harder to tolerate as a parent!

I think it's much better all round to give money. And both my sons really like to get money.

WendyWeber · 06/10/2007 20:58

Would you rather he'd got ten bits of £5 tat, WWW?

Honestly, when they get to that sort of age (and even earlier) a) it's very hard to know what to buy for an individual child you don't know and b) most of them are thrilled to get that much money.

And he can get something worthwhile with £55.

Perfectly sensible, I'd call it (have to admit I did resist for a while, but now it's such a relief to slip a fiver in a card) (so yes, lazy swine also )

Spiderhammer · 06/10/2007 21:00

It works well all round IME. The kid doesn't get a double of something he doesn't want anyway and the gift giver doesn't have to make a special effort to buy then wrap the thing he didn' want anyway.

Also, ten is a good age to start managing your own money effectively.

TheOriginalXENA · 06/10/2007 21:01

personally i'd give ds a list of presents i'd like for christmas

Hallgerda · 06/10/2007 21:03

You don't have a right to expect a present at all, so should be grateful for whatever you receive (within reason ).

I wouldn't do cash because it does seem rather impersonal (though part of me thinks that attitude is irrational), but have done vouchers for DS1's friends (he's at secondary school, I don't know his friends that well, and he never seems to know what they might like).

minorityrules · 06/10/2007 21:17

I've always given cash or vouchers as presents

You have no idea what they are into, £5-10 worth doesn't usually buy anything worthwhile, I used to hate the £5-10 tatt mine got from people who didn't know them very well

Perfectly acceptable in my mind

DumbledoresGirl · 06/10/2007 21:19

Oh it is the norm round here. I have come to think of it as acceptable, especially at your son's age. My son received in total (ie from relatives and friends) £85 for his 11th birthday which me a bit but he spent it on his hobby so I thought it was better he got that than stuff he would not like. Another 11 yo I know bought a mobile with his money (wish I had thought of that and suggested it to ds).

scienceteacher · 06/10/2007 21:22

Money is better than naff presents.

Thisisascareyplaice · 06/10/2007 21:22

thye love money

WizardofWilkdom · 06/10/2007 21:23

Not sure. Personally think if I was attending a party I would buy a gift. If not seeing the child I would post a card with money.

2shoescreepingthroughblood · 06/10/2007 21:25

I always give cash to ds's friends(although at 15 the parties have stopped) but presents for dd's freinds as I normally know them better(small sn school)

ELF1981 · 06/10/2007 21:27

My dd has turned two today, we had a get together. She mostly got presents but did get a £10 voucher for ELC and £5 money from my step sister.

To be perfectly honest, that is fine with me. At this age she is too young to care really, plus I can go through what we do have and work out what she needs rather than just adding to the pile of things she already has iyswim

sKerryMum · 06/10/2007 21:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tigermoth · 06/10/2007 21:28

Money for older children, definitely. Unless parents know your ds or you really well they don't really know what your ds has already or what he wants at this particular time. IME wishlists change almost day to day at this age. Also, IME older children often hanker after bigger things so a collection of fivers is just the ticket.

Happy birthday to your ds BTW - time flies!

Original poster
WideWebWitch · 07/10/2007 09:08

Oh ok, interesting responses, we've moved to another stage haven't we?

I opened an online bank account for him yesterday as he also got £85 from his London relatives so I've put that in the account. And yesterday morning he wanted to spend £11 on a Yu gi oh card so I paid with my debit card and did an online transfer of £11 from his account to mine. So he is getting to see the value and he understands about interest too and he liked the sound of that when I explained it to him.

Thanks for all these views, much appreciated. It was a FAB party

OP posts:
pyjamagirlgotbitbyvampires · 07/10/2007 09:11

It was my son's 10th birthday yeaterday too

He asked for money and got in total 90.00 and had great fun spending it