My ds is nearly 5 and a couple of days ago made what sounded to me like an ungrateful and spoiled remark. I proceeded to do something I swore I wouldn?t: I turned into my mother.
I said something along the lines of: ?some children don?t have enough food to eat or water or nice clothes and you do need to realise how lucky you are. We have a nice house, you have lots of people who love you, you go to a lovely school and I don?t want to hear you moaning about xyz Thank You?. Poor boy, blimey!
I regretted it instantly but I'd said it and he asked me more about these poor children. I explained, gently, that it is true, that some other children and people in the world aren?t as happy and lucky as we are. He now wants to give some of his old toys and clothes to these children which is sweet. But the whole episode made me think about how and when (if?) you teach children about social conscience/awareness of other people etc? I?m aware that it is probably ridiculous and pointless to say these kinds of things to a 5 yo but without saying them how do I get across some of the ideas behind my outburst? A nearby school sent Christmas boxes to Africa last year and were told that these were for children who have no presents, so neighbouring schools are telling children about disadvantage and asking them to help make a difference. But ours hasn?t yet. But I?d be grateful for some advice. How do I:
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Get across that we (in the West, and we generally) are lucky and that we should think of other people who aren?t so lucky? And
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Where can we send these things that he now, very sweetly, wants to donate? (I do have a view that charity is not a good thing in some cases where it is filling gaps in government responsibility but I don't think that's for this thread!) Ideally I?d like to send some stuff to Afghan refugees detained here. There was an article in The Guardian on Saturday about the women and children in various UK detention centres. Any idea how I do this? Any other bright ideas? Thanks in advance for any thoughts or advice.