Dh in Hong Kong 2nd week

[melsy]

((((((((((((PATHETIC ALERT))))))))))

Its been a week now and Im not getting very much sleep.I seem to have to sit reading or watching tv till 1:00 then Im up several times at night. Im my worst in the mornings , but by lunch Im ok and manage to get make up on etc and get out. I am a walking zombie and relaised this as get very wobbly on the stairs bringing dd down in the mornings. Ive never been so busy in one week before , but Im trying to stay busy so as to be too tired to worry by the evening. The porblems are the night when tvs off lights go out and I suddnely feel really alone and have to stop from crying myself to sleep, as it dawns on me that dh is thousand of miles away. Ive tried really hard this week to stay strong , but my AF is late now too(not sure if its worry or the big P word !!)and Ithink thats making me wraped emotionally!!! I know he'll be back next week , and Ill read this and think whats all the fuss about , pull my self together and all that. Ive got no reason for anyone to feel sorry for me I just needed to get this out, but I feel a bit ashamed to feel so pathetic. Now I know how singles mummys feel , YOU ARE SO STRONG to be doing it alone. As IM not really feeling I am being strong. Im actaully nicley surpised to be deeply missing dh as weve had our issues of late!!

Awww. Not pathetic, babe. Only a week to go. Can you plan some nice things for you and the kids to do that dp wouldn't usually be keen to do?

Not sure , going out to lunch today and 2 morrow with family, but its the evenings and the fact that I have tno respite from being mummy, IFYWIM , nappys/feeding . cleaning high chair etc OVER & OVER & OVER. Dh is normally a good help at the weekends so i dont feel like the week merges into weekend.

Big hugs for you melsy. Well, if you are pathetic, what does that make me? I'm in a similar situation. My ffirst thought, after he went this morning was to come on here to make myself feel better. (It's an improvement on emptying the fridge to feel better) My dh left for India this morning and I fear night times the most too. I generally go to sleep with the tv on when he isn't there and set it to turn itself off a long time later.
Stress does funny things to your body. So does lack of sleep. If you are really worried, there's always a test.
Hang in there. I will be too. xxxx

yes, I can imagine that's hard, melsy. Are your kids old enough to have clear bedtimes so that you get a bit of free time in the evenings to catch your breath or are they still tiny enough to be up at unpredictable times?

just have dd 13 mths , shes gfood , goes to bed at 6:30 -7 .and tends to sleep staright for 12 hrs. So I do get some times to VEG , but Its all the clearing up, cant bare to live in amess !!

How long in India Cadbury ?? does he go on trips often ??

Sorry you feel pathetic atm - you're NOT pathetic at all - ok?

It's natural to miss dh, he's there most of the time so you're bound to feel really unnerved at the change - just remember that when he's back and (sometimes) doing your head in, you'll actually be glad that you had this time alone.

Know what you mean about the week merging into the weekend - I just have a 7-day week and forget the weekend!!

Can you get out with dd for a bit each day - take her to the park or for a nice walk etc etc. Even just go (window) shopping for an hour or two?

He's there for 2 weeks melsy. He often goes away for a few days especially in the conference silly season, but this is the longest. I'll be around in the evenings if you want to chat - either on here or msn if you have it. I'm cadbury73 at hotmail dot com

cool cadbury , Im often on mSN with wobbly so we can buddy together !!! Although Ive been having early nigths , getting in to bed and watching DVDs that Dh desnt like , like slushy/ raucnhy period romances !! Im half way thorugh lady chatterly!!!

The dvd's sound good melsy!!! Yep, we'll have to have msn 3-somes of an evening

Lady Chtterly! Fantastic. I haven't read that for yaers. Might have to get it out again. Mmmmmm Sean Bean.

OOHH Melsy, I think u r doin brill, coping better than you ever thought u could. U should be proud and to celebrate I think u shoukd go out for lunch with your sis 2moro!!!!!

Well Done

Aww thanx babes , thats lovely to hear from you. I think our family are our most harshest critics IFYWIM ,dont mean that to sound nasty, but its cos you know our dramas sooo well !!!So if u think Im doing well then I must be !!! I havent had many meltdowns either so I am getting stronger as a mummy.

Hmmm. I wonder which sister Melsy should go out with...

Hope you're okay, Melsy.xxx

oh hi coppertop , thankyou for asking. Im good tonight especially after I started the martinis at 6:30 !!!LOL. theres alittle part of me that makes my stomach churn, but Im keeping it at bay.

Martinis at 6.30pm? Ooooh!

on my own though , so shouldnt be anouncing that Im a lone lush really !!!

LOL at "lone lush". I think you're allowed to be a LL under the circumstances.

thankyou -- feel sick now !!!!! knocked it back to quickly !!

dont u be hung over tomorrow, u have a toodler group and lunch to attend!!!

thinking of you melsy, how are you today?
Hope you are feeling better.

Hi Melsy ,

I am new to this one but have been on before a long time ago. I am in HK !

Anyway, my hubby also does trips away frequently. I enjoy the short ones but hate the 10days-2 weekers esp over 2 w/e's ... I feel like a single parent then too and I ditto your comments on how strong Single parents are to cope alone. I try and fill in as many gaps as possible when he is supposed to be around and in the evenings, can you get a sitter and GO OUT and ENJOY yourself ?! Cinema ? Go to a friends or get them to visit you ?

Big Hugs though !

I know exactly how you feel - I was lying in bed last night wondering whether to own up to HV today about exactly the same thing! My dh has worked away (mainly 5am Mon to 9ish pm Friday) for about 8 years and it really starts to get to me. Do bear in mind it's always worse at this time of year. I feel much better when I get out of the house with the baby - set myself short targets for tidying up then reward myself with a day out. I too totally admire single parents - with 4 kids to sort out for homework, then dinner to cook and worst of all clear up I feel drained, especially when DH phones to tell me what a great restaurant he's been to. It also affects social life - we're not seen as a regular couple and I'm not a proper single mum either. I try to eat out once a week with kids so I can relax with them rather than chase around - usually just pizza or similar and it really helps to come home to a tidy kitchen. Also decided last night to give up drinking alone - it can get to be a dangerous habit to grab a glass of wine from the fridge. You're not pathetic at all. He'll be home soon.