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Original poster

midlife crisis?

19 replies

namechangingregular · 02/10/2007 12:18

didn't know where to put this so..here it is..

bear with me while i talk about myself for a bit!

Whe i finsished my degre i got a 'fill in time' job while i waited for dh to finish his course. once he had finished we move to london and i transfered to a different office of 'fill in job' thereby making it 'my job' iyswim.
it was dull, it was stressful and it wasn't what i had imagined for myself.

after a couple of years i quit and then took a year off which sounds grander than what it really was, which was sitting at home depressed with no confidence while dh made his way in his new exciting job. we then moved out of london and i started temping-ended up in a long term position doing boring admin stuff-but it was a job and it was a laugh and brought in some money.

Then i got pregnant. I worked till i was 36 weeks preg and then i stayed at home first with my first child and then my second child. i loved this time -really enjoyed it.

my second child has just started school now and i feel utterly bereft.

It's time for me to start thinking about what to do now but i have no idea what to do now.i see people i went to uni with who have really good careers, who seem to be grown ups ina way that i am not.

i feel in limbo-and like i have done nothing with mylife(which i know is wrong-i have raised two healthy beautiful children)and yet i don't know how to correct this. i don't know what steps to take.

i can feel myself getting a bit depressed. i feel weepy whenever anyone talks to me about my child starting school, i miss him so much. the house is a tip because despite me having plenty of time to get things done i have no motivation and all i want to do is either sit on here or sleep.either that or i am out of the house trying to keep as busy as possible.

so what do i do now? how on earth do i get life back on track?

OP posts:

NotQuiteCockney · 02/10/2007 12:19

This is a transition, and transitions are hard.

Can you see it as an opportunity? Take a course in something you're interested in? Start volunteering? Try getting your original career back on track, if that's what you want?

CountessDracula · 02/10/2007 12:21

As you have enjoyed your children so much maybe you could do a PGCE and become a primary school teacher

You get paid to train these days too

Boco · 02/10/2007 12:23

I think a lot of people feel like this who have taken a career break to look after their children. But you could see this as a really exciting time - a new start for you. Is there anything you'd really like to do? A job you've always fancied? This could be a good time to do some study, get some work experience in an area you're interested in, spend some time doing something for you to get somewhere you'd like to be.

Why don't you just start with a short course to boost your confidence and get you re-interested in learning and working.

What are you interested in? What would you like to do? What would your dream job be?

Original poster

namechangingregular · 02/10/2007 12:28

i don't know what i'd like to do!

i know i don't want to do the ame kind of work as before.

i have enjoyed helping out at my child's school and did wondr about teaching assistant jobs? something like that?

i don't think i want to do a pgce-i think the work would be too intense . i like the idea of a ta thing so i get to be wiuth the kids but then just go home at the end of the day! plus i get the holidays to spend with my children.

OP posts:

Boco · 02/10/2007 12:35

well there you go - that sounds good, - and you have experience. So, you could get the paper and have a look and find out if there are any jobs going, what sort of hours and pay and see if it's the sort of thing that could work for you. In the meantime you could look at the adult ed courses in your area, see if there are any working with children ones that you could try to see if you like it.

Original poster

namechangingregular · 02/10/2007 12:35

i would really like to hear people's ideas and views on this.

OP posts:

Original poster

namechangingregular · 02/10/2007 12:37

sorry! x post!

i think part of my problem is lack of confidence. i keep thinking about what would i have to put on a cv? most people of my age have lots more work experience than me..

OP posts:

CountessDracula · 02/10/2007 12:39

OK I would say that you clearly have a confidence issue, you have never fulfilled your potential and so now you are scared of doing something that will stretch you as you never have. I think if you go for something below your capabilities again that you will end up unfulfilled again and bored and depressed.

CountessDracula · 02/10/2007 12:42

what is your degree?

Original poster

namechangingregular · 02/10/2007 12:43

i got a 2;2 in english and drama(would have been better but spent al my time in bed with dh rather than studying)

OP posts:

Rosyspookily · 02/10/2007 12:44

If I were you I'd do voluntary work and a course or two for a while. Just to build up confidence, experience and cv. Opportunities will open up from there I think.

Rosyspookily · 02/10/2007 12:45

drama therapy course?

Original poster

namechangingregular · 02/10/2007 12:46

what does drama therapy involve rosy?

OP posts:

CountessDracula · 02/10/2007 12:47

ok so lots you could do with that I should think

What appeals to you

And what were your interim jobs

MY SIL for eg was in a similar situation, a series of under achieving jobs as a receptionist, we went through her CV in a creative way to imply she had done some marketing, she got a temp job as an admin/marketing assistant on a national newspaper and is now head of marketing for the whole group! She had little confidence when she started out but she pushed herself a bit in the beginning and was brave and jumped in at the deep end and was prepared to learn and to do stuff that was initially very hard for her. You only get advancement through trying hard and stepping outside your comfort zone IME

CountessDracula · 02/10/2007 12:48

(oh and she has 5 o levels!)

Original poster

namechangingregular · 02/10/2007 12:53

i worked in a customer service role with direct contact with the(usually very unhappy) public. face to face stuff. that was the bit i was best at-the accompanying admin was the dull bit-the contact stressful!

i did receptionist stuff-answering phones etc. admin work-worked for an insurance company for a while....

i have been volunteering at my children's school and i am a school governor...

co-ran a toddler group for a while..

OP posts:

Rosyspookily · 02/10/2007 13:11

Well, I know a bit about about art therapy. There are only a few colleges that offer the course. The course is interesting, you have to pay for your own therapy throughout which can cost a bit, but you have a professional qualification at the end. You can work in hospitals, schools, prisons, refuge centres. Lot's of work with children but adults also.

You would be helping people come to terms with a trauma or a disability or an illness through drama. You could specialise in taking groups or work one to one.

You may not feel confident to do it at the beginning but by the end of the course you would be ready for anything!

Original poster

namechangingregular · 02/10/2007 13:24

mmm- idon't think that is the kind of thing i would like to do tbh. drama was a small prt of my course and i was never particularly talented.

i DO like the idea of working with people though-i think that whatever i do it will have to involve that contact with people.

OP posts:

Rosyspookily · 02/10/2007 13:41

You wouldn't need to be good at drama just good at facilitating perhaps.
I'm sure you'll get lots of good ideas on here. It is exciting to have loads of options open to you!

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