leaving dp......can someone talk me through/list me practical aspects?

[queenrollo]

I am leaving my dp. We have a two year old son. While i'm not in an immediate rush (dp in spare room, things very amicable so far)......i need to get my head around the practical aspects of what i need to do.
I really have no idea where to start.........what do i do for money etc.

any advice would be appreciated so i can approach this in a sensible and ordered manner

Ok, first off, you need to find out what is going to happen with the house. Is it going to need to be sold?
Are you currently a SAHM? If so you will need to contact the benefits agency, to claim some kind of income for yourself, if not you need to contact the tax credits people at the inland revenue so you know what you will be entitled to.
Discuss bills with you DP is there anyway that all bills could be paid up to date before it ends completely so you are not left will huge gas/electric/telephone etc bills to pay when he leaves.
You need to work out what is going to happen about maintenance and visiting arrangements, though the latter may be hard for him to make any concrete arrangements until he knows where he is going to be (I assume you and your son are staying in the house?)
Good Luck

actually i'm not going to be staying in the house, because it is too isolated for me. There are other reasons but that is the main one.........
we want to avoid selling it as financially it makes more sense to keep it.........the mortgage is very low on it, but if we sold and split the money neither of us would be in a position to buy elsewhere. As it stands it means dp will be able to support me financially in the early days if i need it (not totally, but to ensure ds welfare).....

Ok, you need to find somewhere to live then, get onto your local council, or start searching some letting agents.

queenrollo - you really need to get some proper advice on this. Afaik, it's not a good move to leave the marital home (it's still classed as marital even though he's your DP as there is a child involved.) If your DP intends to remain in it, you need to stay there until a settlement is reached.

Although things are amicable at the mo, things can take a turn for the nasty very quickly in these circs, when people realise how it'll affect them financially. For eg, under the Childrens Act, I think you would be entitled to two thirds of the equity, rather than half.(check this though - I'm not an expert!)There was a MN thread on this relatively recently.

Don't know your financial circs, but if you claim any benefits, they are used to this situation and you can prove that you are no longer a couple, even though you live under the same roof.

Go to the citizens advice bureau - they offer free advice on all aspects of your predicament. Also, see a solicitor that specialises in family law. They usually offer the first hour free. They are very expensive thereafter, but you could be entitled to legal aid - they will discuss this with you.

for gods sake dont trust him witht he house. once your happy with a nice guy - he will get jealous and screw you over. unless he is jesus.

lol custy - I think Jesus would turn the other cheek.

And then screw you over