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Original poster

how would you feel about this?

12 replies

forsale · 28/09/2007 20:21

ds has been seeing a psychologist for just under 2 years relating to a constipation problem he has. He is due to start secondary school next september and i was at the school the other evening when i bumped into his psychologist, I saw her again today at teh school so it appears she too has a child the same age as ds and it clearly appears will possibly attend the same school. I feel quite miffed as she has known that ds will go to this school at the same time as her child and knows a lot of information about our family and ds especially. Naturally it makes me feel uncomfortable on ds' behalf.

OP posts:

Gizmo · 28/09/2007 20:24

Oh!

Awkward...

Of course, the whole point of a psychologist is that they should provide a safe place to discuss problems ie absolute confidentiality guaranteed.

Do you not feel you can trust her?

Original poster

forsale · 28/09/2007 20:30

yes i do trust that she wont actually discuss ds problem but it just makes me feel uncomfortable. ds too says he now feels uncomfortable and wants me to tell her .

OP posts:

flowerybeanbag · 28/09/2007 20:31

Why are you miffed because she knew your DS would be going to the same? Would you have expected her to send her child elsewhere? Or what else could she have done about it?

If she is good at her job and professional, she will maintain absolute confidentiality, and she will be used to doing so while encountering patients outside her practice.

Will your DS really feel awkward? Often children don't feel these things as adults would, and maybe if you don't get a sense he is feeling awkward, don't make an issue of it at all, otherwise you might project your feelings on to him.

flowerybeanbag · 28/09/2007 20:31

x-post just seen that your DS is uncomfortable.

flowerybeanbag · 28/09/2007 20:32

same school, sorry

moondog · 28/09/2007 20:32

I don't see that there is a problem.I'm a salt and this sort of thing happens regulalry. It won't be discussed outside of the sessions.

flowerybeanbag · 28/09/2007 20:33

If your DS wants you to tell her he is feeling uncomfortable, I am sure she would be prepared to talk to him about confidentiality and reassure him.

Gizmo · 28/09/2007 20:33

Hmm, I can see DS feeling awkward could be Big Problem, actually.

In your shoes I'd be tempted to leave it for a few months and see if he still feels it's a problem, but if he loses trust in her, you're going to need an alternative...how easy will that be to find?

haychee · 28/09/2007 20:34

She wont say anything. Why would she?

Oh that boy over there, he has a constipation problem.

Just not the sort of thing you would say to your teenag-ish son.

tigermoth · 28/09/2007 20:46

I can totally see why your ds would feel nervous. He is at an age where he is getting very self conscisous and the move to secondary school is a big step for him.

I think it's very unlikely that the psychologist has said anything to her son - after all her livelihood depends on her not divulging personal information. Would it help your son if you told him she could be struck off for breach of confidentiality (I assume this is what would happen) so she is hardly going to throw away years worth of training and her livelihood by telling her son personal details about her clients?

I think you will have to be as matter of fact as possible about this, while reassuring your son. If you get too openly worried, it will make him feel even worse - I don't envy you this and don't know that there is an easy way out if it.

Original poster

forsale · 28/09/2007 20:51

thanks for your opinions. as it is 11 months away i will leave it for now and maybe things will improve and their contact will diminish. We do occasionally bump into each other around town so instead of avoiding her i may just mention his concerns in a non formal way and ask her to offer her reassurance to him m when she next has a session with him. Alternatively this could be the push he needs to get it under control once and for all

OP posts:

chipmonkey · 28/09/2007 21:02

forsale, I'm an optometrist, not a psychologist but I'm sure the ethics are similar. I would never discuss a patient's eye exam with any member of my family even if they are family friends; it would be a real no-no! Confidentiality is paramount. Obviously even more so for psychologists. She won't breathe a word! If he's anxious, I would mention it to her and I'm sure she'll reassure him.

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