Irrational thoughts?

[Monnie]

Has anyone had these that has stopped them from doing certain things in their lives?

I have a friend who won't travel to rural areas for fear of how hard a time she may receive(she's black).

Before anyone from the countryside gets offended, she knows that not everyone is like this, but it still remains an very real issue for her.

Any advice?(even if it's about dealing with irrational behaviour in general, rather than race specific.)

Tx

I think you have to gradually face these thoughts one step at a time, little by little, and gradually build up the challenges. Its like an anxiety attack I suspect.

Perhaps you could drive her round in a rural area, and perhaps tgo for a walk with her somewhere where you know it will be quiet. I live in Berkshire and I'm quite sure there are villages round here where she would be bound to see the odd black face.

I've just had a very stressful second driving lesson. I've put off learning to drive for years because just the thought made me sweat. I've had bad dreams about driving for years. i've always made the excuse that I like cycling! The more you put it off the more the irrational fear builds up. I told my instructor I was nervous and he is taking it very slowly with me. It was very challenging, but now I've got through it and I feel proud of myself. Hopefully it will gradually become less stressful.

The thing with most irrational fears is that there is usually some, sometimes obscure, rational reason behind them. Some people in rural areas are racist, and cars are dangerous. Even if someone was racist towards her, she's got to know that they are in the wrong and she can get through it.

Maybe I'm talking crap. About ten years ago i had a black partner and we never went abroad for fear of attitudes towards mixed relationships. Since then I've realised we really missed out.

Not really relevant to the original question, but I have a theory that irrational fears (if they really are irrational, rather than related to childhood events or whatever) are throwbacks to past lives. I have lots of funny 'things' which have no obvious reason behind them. I am very claustrophobic and I feel that this may be to do with something that happened in a previous life, such as being locked up or whatever. I would love to be regressed, has anyone ever done that?

Anyway, as I said, it doesn't even have anything to do with the original post...

Monnie, I am not so sure that this woman's behaviour is irrational. I am frequently surprised by small minded, bigoted attitudes about race and skin colour. For instance, my sister and her partner share the flat of another (young) couple. The flat is above a corner shop which has just been bought by a pakistani family. So, as a direct result, my sister's flatmate/landlord has decided to sell the flat and move away. She was telling this to a neighbour of my parents, and she - a woman who I have always thought to be a very easy-going, open-minded woman - started to sympathise with the attitude. When my sister said how awful she thought it was my parents' neighbour started with all the sweeping generalisations "Oh well they do work very hard, they will keep it very clean..." etc. I was horrified. I know these are very mild forms of racism, but these are 'respectable, middle class' type people in a big, multicultural area. It shocked me.