Jealous friend? What to do

[Mella91]

a quick insight - she is in an unhappy marriage, she says her parents favour her two brothers and make this openly clear. She also suffers from financial issues.

My life has been the complete opposite I am married to my best friend of 12 years, we have a safe secure and loving relationship. I am an only child and my parents openly show their affection, and we are also very comfortable financially. Most of the things she wants in life I have. As horrible as it sounds most of the dreams she talks about is my normal life.

I am slowly made to feel very guilty for everything I have. When we first got our house (her ideal house which she mentioned after) she said congratulations in a very unexcited way (I was over the moon when she purchased her 2 bed apartment) when I got my promotion she said 'congratulations its great that you have the right connections' when it was my hard work that payed off. That remark had me thinking for a whole month until my husband shook me and made me believe I earned it again. My son gets lots of toys from grandparents and us and every-time she sees something 'oh he is so spoilt' 'he will be ungrateful' etc

At work whenever I am complimented for something - whether it be my clothes, makeup or lifestyle she will start doing odd things like singing loud, changing topic or waving hands crazily. I am just so tired of speaking about something next to her because it might trigger her and she will say something that will make me feel rubbish.

Her jealousy has never got to the point where it will harm me - just one time I heard her talking about my weight post-birth to a colleague who complimented how good I looked. I confronted her straight away and she said she was sorry she didn't realise it was hurtful etc.
In short i don't know what to do.

2/3 months ago she openly admitted to me that she wishes her life was like mine. She said she never felt love by her parents, grew up thinking she wasn't enough and she holds this to this day where she lacks confidence and feels like she is beneath everyone. She mentioned that she could tell I grew up in a secure environment because of my confidence. That day I felt like for once I could understand her but it doesn't change that this is making me feel down and it is effecting me.She has very good sides to her too - she is fun and always tries to help me but I am starting to really get tired of her negativity. What would your advice be

bump

If she is jealous it's her problem and not your fault in the slightest. If her actions begin to genuinely upset you, make sure to call her out. Lots of people have friends who have more than they do and are perfectly capable of not behaving horribly and not making snide remarks.

I would gently start pulling back from this friendship, you haven't mentioned any of the things that you really like about her and if you've caught her talking about you behind your back then she clearly doesn't view you as a true friend.
I would also try get this moved over to the relationship thread, you would get more help and advice.

Thank you so much! I am slowly pulling back and this has made her message me more. She has really nice qualities too. I wasnt able to write them because of lack of space. She can be very helpful and is that one friend who will be next to you when everything goes wrong. Its when things go right she dislikes and acts odd

I’d be pulling back on the friendship until we were no more than acquaintances. The reason she is a better friend to you when things in your life are harder is because it makes her feel better about herself - not because she is actually there for you - and really, that’s pretty crappy behaviour from a friend.