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ARGH!!!!!

20 replies

Flamesparrow · 15/09/2007 19:44

Fckin stupid crp men who do sod fckin all round the house and have a go at a child for not tidying properly when he does nothing to a) be an example b) help and then has a go at her for spilling milk she was carrying across a room full of crp

@ everything

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Othersideofthechannel · 15/09/2007 19:46

Aargh indeed. Hope a spell of mumsnet calms you down enough to approach him calmly about it.

FLIER · 15/09/2007 19:47

poor you and dd

Flamesparrow · 15/09/2007 19:47

You mean the yelling at him in front of the kids wasn't calm and the right thing to do?

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Othersideofthechannel · 15/09/2007 19:49

well, we have to sometimes don't we. But I find my DH takes me more seriously when I (also) bring it up after the dust has settled.

Flamesparrow · 15/09/2007 19:55

We're both crap with the house tbh, but whereas the whole thing annoys me and I know it is my fault, he sends DD to "tidy her toys", and she is 4, having been raised in the house of crap she is completely stunned by it all and doesn't know where to start.

I understand that and try to do it with her (you do all the yellow things, I do all the pink), he just gets cross because she says she can't.

We need to do her room each night with her before bed, but again, we are crap and don't, so it turns into a hell hole of toys and books. So whereas I pick my way through and give her her milk in bed, he sent her through with it, and then told her off for spilling it.

I've had a headache since yesterday afternoon (if I wake mid migraine I have this headache for the next few days that feels like my head is caving in), I took strong painkillers last night and sleeping pills to get through it, so he feels like I had a lie in so should have been up and raring to go to take them out during the rugby (like I had said I would), but I was only barely up to it when I finally did get out with them at half time.

I still feel like crap, they got their dinner all over the lounge, and he decided to play his game/tidy the kitchen whilst I bathed them rather than cleaning the tomato sauce stains off the carpet, so they were harder for me to do when I got downstairs.

He sees me as being on the computer all the time, so it means he can play his game all the time - but the reality is that I spend 90% of my time on the computer working, NOT playing.

Pissed off with the world and wanting him to understand, and he never does.

No, we don't need councelling or divorce, we just need more money so there would be less pressure and I would be a nicer person to be around. I would play on the computer all day if I had to live with me.

Sorrry for the essay, it turns out that I needed to offload.

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Othersideofthechannel · 15/09/2007 19:57

That's what mumsnet is for

Othersideofthechannel · 15/09/2007 19:59

A bit unreasonable of him to expect his DD to tidy up when he can't!

DS is 4.6 and we usually tidy once a day (apart from constructive stuff like a railway set) but he still needs help and direction.

Othersideofthechannel · 15/09/2007 20:02

Sorry, I don't really know what to say about the rest. No personal experience and too much red wine to try to put myself in your shoes. I'm sure someone else will come along soon.

How's your head now?

Flamesparrow · 15/09/2007 20:04

Head is still pounding - yelling and crying hasn't helped . I need to go and get dinner, but we are in stalemate now and neither is apparently going to say the first thing.

Although it is probably me in stalemate, and he has forgotten it all!

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sunshinegirl · 15/09/2007 20:08

Totally empathise FS, it's fraustrating for us but men don't seem to care!

My ds is 4 and a half and refuses to tidy up too saying I can't and yet he regularly came home from preschool with a sticker for his good tidying

sunshinegirl · 15/09/2007 20:08

Have a glass of wine, that'll help

chocolateteapot · 15/09/2007 20:08

I'm sorry it's all cr@p Flame If he is like my DH he needs it all spelling out to him and being told exactly what needs doing. When we lived in our old house DH's comment about the kitchen floor was that it was really good as it never showed the dirt. It had to be pointed out to him that it wasn't self cleaning.

I think you when you are feeling better you need to get your Mum to have your two for a weekend (the cot is is the garage if that helps ?). Then incredibly boring (and a waste of a child free weekend) as it is, you both need to sort the house once and for all. So that everything has a place, ditch what you don't use. And make a list of exactly what needs doing round the house and break it into days. DH found it really helpful to know what he is "supposed" to do.

You've seen my house and know it is pretty tidy. It never used to be like and it's only self preservation that makes it like it is now - we were permanently losing everything and it just reached crisis point. I know we are lucky as we had enough money to do up the kitchen etc but I reckon with a bit of imagination you can do it all on a budget.

Flamesparrow · 15/09/2007 20:09

Oh yes, DD is apparently a top tidier upper at school I want THAT version in my house

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Flamesparrow · 15/09/2007 20:11

The lounge has stayed pretty much straight since we emptied it to decorate, but it is all still sat in the dining room and we can't seem to find homes for it all

We still need to get men together CT - maybe yours can beat some sense into mine?? Sonic on the wii has some great group games, so does brain academy

Wine sounds goooooooooood

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Othersideofthechannel · 15/09/2007 20:13

You may be right about stalemate. MIL told me once she stayed awake all night all cut up about an incident like this. Too mad with FIL to sleep. She approached him about it the next day and he had forgotten all about it (and slept mightily soundly)

sunshinegirl · 15/09/2007 20:13

lol re self cleaning floor!

I think you're right about spelling it out, my H just wouldn't see what needed to be done and would ask me to tell him or make a list You'd think stepping over piles of shite would be enough but no ....

fireflyfairy2 · 15/09/2007 20:20

I agree with chocolateteapot sweetie, you need to set aside some time & get the bare bones of tidying done.

Would it make it easier if you did most of it at night when the dc are in bed?

we've just had dinner. Dh cooked it whilst I played scrabble but as soon as I had finised I loaded the d/washer, cleaned the worktops & put away the condiments or they would sit there all night

Now when I get up in the morning the kitchen will be relatively tidy to begin with.

Have you tried a rota? (or is that a poncey idea?) Do you think maybe B has too many things in her room, hence too much potential mess? I know when I had this problem with dd I emptied everything out of her room.. bought 2 huge tubs for her toys & made her decide which ones she plays with. The rest I either put in the attic for ds or got rid of.

She has 3 book cases & 2 book shelves which keeps the books out of the middle of the toys, hence less chance of rippage!!!

Flamesparrow · 15/09/2007 22:30

I know.... we always threaten to and then it never happens.

I can't even seem to get back into flylady, and I was on top of things when I was doing that.

I have set aside Weds morning to tackle B's room - they are both gone all morning so I can work solidly without any interruptions and sobs of "But he's my faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaavourite" to a teddy previously unknown before I put it in the bag to go

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fireflyfairy2 · 15/09/2007 22:31

IKWYM... I did it when dd was at school. And she has never looked for anything!

Well, except for a pack of marbles which I have my doubts that she ever owned in the first place!

Flamesparrow · 15/09/2007 22:35

lmao!

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