I need to see a counsellor - help please

[joanneg]

This is all very embarrasing - hence why I am asking wise mumsnetter for advice - I need to see somebody professional about my problems (mainly because I get addicted to things easily and have trouble regulating my eating and spending and also I am addicted to painkillers).

I have a happy exterior - but inside I feel like I have a cloud over me. I am very pesimistic (sp?) and lay awake at night worrying. I had an awful chidhood and a really bad experience when I was a teenager - so know this is related.

So my question is, how do I get a counsellor? There is a huge waiting list at my surgery so am thinking of going private. Does amybody know what type of counselling I need and where I start?

Thanks. Jo x

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is really good see here

I can really recommend it. I went to see one privately for anxiety related problems. It's about looking at your patterns of behaviour, relating them back to why/how they were formed and then breaking those patterns. That's not a great description but essentially it's much more 'active' and not naval gazing. It's also 'quicker' than other forms of phsycotherapy. You'll be able to find a private one on the link.

here you go

What is Cognitive Behaviour Therapy?
Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) is an approach to help people experiencing a wide range of mental health difficulties. The basis of CBT is that what people think affects how they feel emotionally and also alters what they do.

During times of mental distress the way the person sees and judges themselves and the things that happens to them alters. Things tend to become more extreme and unhelpful. This can worsen how the person feels and causes them to act in ways that keep their distress going.

Hi joanneg - well done for starting on this path. Not a whole lot of advice but \link{http://www.bacp.co.uk/British Assoc of Counselling and Psychotherapy} might be a good starting place.

I've had some counselling and some psychotherapy in the past. The counselling, both times, was brilliant and in both cases I accessed it through my work occupational health service - are you working atm? If someone else you know has a work counsellor and they are good, they might be willing to see you privately.

The psychotherapy was tricky because I never had the courage to ask what kind of therapy I was having! I think anyway that she wouldn't have answered but just reflected back the question to me. This is a type of analysis or therapy that can make you feel even more isolated. So try and summon up courage to get information about the kind of counselling or therapy they offer, how long they normally see people for and why. If they say something that doesn't appeal, that's not a flaw in you - it probably isn't the right therapy for you. HTH and best of luck.

well done jp for taking the first step... that is probably the hardest.

There are lots of different types of therapy, and lots of different types of therapists... you may have to kiss many toads before you find your prince as it were! (or else you could hit it off straight away)

Another suggestion is Neuro Linguistic programming, I know various people who claim this has turned their lives around.

Wishing you lots of luck with your 'journey'

hi joanneg. i agree with krocket that CBT can be very effective:-

this is the url for the website of the British Association for Behavioural and Cognitive Psychotherapies:-

www.babcp.org.uk/

It gives some general info on CBT and also has a section on finding an accredited therapist - you can do a search by geographical area and/or type of problem.

Regarding your bad teenage experience; in addition to CBT you might find it useful to look at treatment for PTSD to help you exorcise that experience (I am guessing that you may have problems with bad dreams/flashbacks/anxiety) relating to this, but forgive me if I am completely barking up the wrong tree. Treatment for PTSD maybe a bit different to that for depression; in simplistic terms with PTSD you are stuck in a moment you can't get out of - i.e. that you are sort of frozen in time with the traumatic memory; one way of treating that is to "reprocess" the memory to get rid of it.

I agree with Acnebride that any decent therapist should be happy to answer questions about what their therapy is achieving, and how they are going to treat you.

just an afterthought - if you are phoning round "auditioning" counsellors/therapists, I think it is a good idea to ask what sort of experience they have in dealing with your particular problems - i.e. if they do it day in day out, or just fancy having a stab at treating it and don't have much real experience.