Also in need of a moan....

[LiamsMum]

Hope you can indulge me 'cos I would really like to get this off my chest. I posted a few weeks ago about having my parents-in-law to stay with us for five weeks... well they leave tomorrow (THANK GOD) but my FIL has been almost too much for me to bear. All he has done for the entire time is sit around while everyone else does everything for him. He refuses to even drive up to the corner shop if he needs something, which means that I usually have to drop everything and go, (or dh, but he's been at work most of the time) and his wife can't drive anyway - that wouldn't be so bad except he always wants me to take ds with me because he won't look after him, even for a short time. His wife has suggested a few times that they take ds off my hands for a little while, but he always refuses. He has nearly driven me crazy by commenting on ds all the time too. He says things like, "I wouldn't let him do that if I were you," or "take that toy away from him, it's too noisy," or "you're wasting your time trying to stop him from doing that." He also tries to tell me what to do and I honestly feel like I'm close to throttling him. Problem is, I've snapped at dh a few times because I'm so stressed out by his father, and I know I've probably been a bit hard on ds too - just because I've been trying to keep him in line while the in-laws are here. I feel a bit insulted by the fact that he doesn't want to be left with ds AT ALL, because it makes me wonder if there's something about ds that he just can't tolerate. To me he's a normal two year old, but FIL makes me feel conscious of his behaviour all the time. This morning I wanted to change ds from his pyjamas into his clothes, and ds decided he didn't feel like changing his clothes so he put up a bit of resistance when I tried to take him into his room to change him. He was still grisling when I heard FIL walk up and slam ds's bedroom door shut (presumably so he didn't have to hear ds whining). I have never felt so irritated by someone and so uncomfortable in my own home. Thanks anyway for listening... I'm so glad it's almost over.

Liamsmum, you're an absolute heroine for enduring this for FIVE WEEKS - I think I would've resorted to violence by now if it was me. IMO it's your FIL who has the problem, not you or your ds. Well done and enjoy the peace when they've gone!

LiamsMum, What an awful five weeks you've endured. Your FIL sounds completely rude and out of order. Why did you have to have them for five weeks?

Hi Liamsmum, I think you have coped brilliantly, I'm sure many people would have completely lost their temper weeks ago with a FIL behaving so awfully. What was the point of their visit if not to see their grandchild? I know my MIL (who hardly sees any of her grandchildren) would have jumped through hoops to spend time with them.
Well done you for getting through it, hope it helped to get it all of your chest!

Virtual medals to Liamsmum and sobernow! I can't imagine coping with what you have had to put up with, well done!

Liamsmum and Sobernow - I barely managed an afternoon of biting my tongue when we visited DPs parents at the weekend. The tongue biting started when the conversation hit on how schools should bring back corporal punishment, and I had nearly bitten all the way through by the time it got on to how it would be better to leave DS with family rather than a childminder. Hmmm... with family who agree with schools hitting children, I wonder why we chose a childminder for DS???!!!

Congratulations to both of you - you've coped much better than I would have done!!

LiamsMum

With behaviour like this then any inlaws of mine would have lasted 1 day or been told straight out that they were not welcome at all.

Simon, I think both sobernow and Liamsmum would probably pay you to do that for them right now!

Liamsmum, I wondered where my dad was for the last five weeks

Liamsmum & sobernow (or should it be hung-overnow!), you two are amazing.

Liamsmum, can only agree. You are marvellous for putting up with your fil for so long. It sounds as though this is how he's always been. Never mind, not long to go...

Sobernow, a medal to you, too.

Can I suggest a cold bottle of Moet et Chandon for both of you as a celebration when they're gone?

Jasper you poor thing Hope your dad's not quite as bad as my FIL

sobernow - so sorry to hear your FIL is making your life harder. I hope he is in rehab soon for you all so that you can get back to normal. From personal experience, it seems that it is rare that family alone can help an alcoholic to recover totally and you have enough on your plate looking after your own family. LOL

Sobernow
We've "spoken" before about alcoholic in laws, and many, MANY congratulations for getting him this far, although I can really appreciate why you had a "few" the other night! Fingers crossed he gets a place soon at a clinic. It isn't your fault. Hope you realise that.

What is it about dealing with alcoholics that makes you just want to drink??!!

I still couldn't stand my MIL for 5 days - altho I can cope with 5 hours... but 5 weeks... Liamsmum, you really are a saint. I take my hat off to you both!

My MIL, now 82 has no spirits in the house, cannot open a bottle of wine herself, so gets one bottle of wine "delivered" every day. She manages to get through it within 30 mins, though.

Trouble is, last week she let in 2 (apparently "very nice young" ) men into the house who spent a hour perusing the entire contents including the attic, making offers of money for stuff. So, although the drinking is vaguely under control, there's no chance of us getting any peace. Listen out for burglary of priceless antiques in East Anglia soon...

Aaaahhh, a nice quiet house again!! I won't have to worry anymore about FIL waking up ds with his incredibly loud voice or by slamming doors. And I can let ds play wherever/whenever he wants to without having to listen to his inane comments.

The reason we had them for so long is that they live overseas, and the last time we saw them was six years ago. (They stayed for 6 weeks last time, but I was working full-time and didn't have any children so it was a lot easier.) I quite like dh's stepmother, but all I can say is thank God dh is not like his father. Before they arrived, we spoke to them several times by phone and my FIL kept saying, "If we were there, we'd be doing our share of babysitting for you." Then when he arrives, he spends the next five weeks avoiding any kind of child-minding at all. Not that I expected them to babysit much, but he even refused to even take ds for a walk in his buggy when his wife suggested it. Needless to say I'm feeling VERY relieved that they've gone...