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Original poster

Wedding present lists again!!

18 replies

lilibet · 01/10/2004 13:20

Dp and I have decided against a list for lots of reasons, I actually didn't want pressies at all, but we have now reached the compromise of putting something along these lines in with the invites along with directions and stuff.

" As we already have a home, we aren't havign a wedding present list, if you would like to buy a gift, we would be very grateful, but alternatively donations can be made to Wigan and Leigh Hospice in memeory of XXXX (my Dad!)"

Mil to be says that this isn't a good idea as everyone will want to buy us a present and no one will know what to buy and we should provide some sort of guidance for people, in other words a list!

Opinions please - and honest ones!!

OP posts:
Lisa78 · 01/10/2004 13:24

We didn't have a list and we got wonderful presents (no toasters) in fact the only things we got that we didn't like were a hideous vase (from an elderly couple) and a toilet brush...?!

Go for it, I hate picking presents off lists, I like to get something from Debenhams or similar and make sure they know I am happy for them to exchange it

MrsCoddyClooney · 01/10/2004 13:32

Thats fantastic!

sobernow · 01/10/2004 13:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pixiefish · 01/10/2004 13:40

don't agree with mil. I think your idea is lovely and will benefit locally- far better for peoploe to give what they can to charity- absolutely FANTASTIC idea- well done-

mckenzie · 01/10/2004 13:46

personally lillibet i think your idea is fantastic and as it's your wedding, I think all that matters is that you are happy with it, not you MIL.

Tommy · 01/10/2004 13:53

I think that's a lovely idea! If people really wnat to buy you a present at least they will have to think very carefully about what they buy. Also, if you get any really hideous "knick knacks", I'm sure the hospice has a charity chop who would be glad of them
LOL sobernow!

Tommy · 01/10/2004 13:54

I don't know if they'll have a charity chop but almost certainly a charity shop...

prufrock · 01/10/2004 22:17

It is a lovely idea, but MIL is pobably thinking of her side of the family, who might prefer to but you a present rather than donate (not that I think they are right to). Do you like wine? Friends of ours asked people to buy them decent bottles (whcih they have proceeded to use up on entertaining their friends)

Clayhead · 01/10/2004 22:20

We didn't have a list and it was fine. A couple of people called my mum and she gave them a few ideas.

littlemissbossy · 01/10/2004 22:24

Oh what a lovely idea!! you're still giving people the option to buy a present if they prefer anyway

acnebride · 01/10/2004 22:26

I think it's a great idea. Quite a few people doing it as well (I wanted the stuff too much). Our wedding list ended up being the worst hassle of the entire wedding, and it was actually hard to feel grateful for lovely presents!

Maybe talk to the hospice afterwards and ask if there is any special project they will put the money towards, then tell people about it in thank you letters/cards.

Miaou · 01/10/2004 22:39

Echo the thoughts expressed on here already. If I was getting married now (ie having already kitted out a home) I would probably want to do the same thing.

JanH · 01/10/2004 22:55

lilibet, SenoraPostrophe is getting married this month under not quite the same circs as you - 1st time round, but still household already set up - and she has set up a website with a list of token presents, plus a yacht just in case anyone is feeling madly generous. I can't find her website but I bet if you CATed her she would give you details.

Anyway your slip of paper could give people the option of either a token gift, or a donation, or both. (Her tokens were things like a Really Good Pizza Cutter - the sort of thing it's nice to have but that you wouldn't bother to buy yourself.)

AmandaH · 18/10/2004 16:30

There's a charity wedding list website where there are 'gifts' of donations to different charities - might mean you can keep MIL happy with a 'list' but still means you don't get the pressies. It's at giveit.co.uk.

sweetheart · 18/10/2004 16:36

We had been living together when we got married and didn't need any "housey" things so we set up an account with a local travel agent. People went in and brought gift vouchers and we used them to pay for our honeymoon. It was great, one less expense to worry about.

I think your idea is very generous and if thats what you want then people should honour your wishes.

elliott · 18/10/2004 16:37

don't listen to your mil - people really can cope without gift lists! I think what you've suggested is fine, some people will happily give a donation, others will really want to give you something personal and special (and you will receive presents that really remind you of the giver). I'm sure a few people will phone to check that their idea is ok, but I'm sure you can cope with that!

jampot · 18/10/2004 16:43

I think your idea is lovely lillibet and would go with that. As someone else said, a charity list would be good or failing that a list with £1 coin, £5 note, £10 note, £20 note, £50 note etc would also suffice

hana · 18/10/2004 17:32

I think it's a lovely thing to do and if people don't want to do that they can always buy a present instead. Very thoughtful

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