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Original poster

i can't believe what happened on the bus today... (sorry, long)

18 replies

HelloMama · 30/09/2004 16:54

Coming back on the bus from the July / August babies MN meet-up, the following happened on the bus, which I still can't believe...

I was in the pushchair space on the bus, where there is really only room for one pushchair. A few stops down the line, another mum with a pushchair also wanted to get on. By now the bus was quite busy, so although the driver told her there was already one puschair on board, she decided to get on anyway. Unfortunately, because of the crap design of the bus, she had to stand in the aisle with her pushchair. Next to her was a woman, aged about 20 years old. The bus kept getting busier and busier, and every time people got on they had to squeeze past the pushchair and this other woman. In the end, the mum asked the woman to move whilst more people got on, as they were knocking her pushchair and her baby was asleep. The woman ignored her completely. The mum asked her again to move (politely) as her poor baby was sleeping, etc. Suddenly the other woman turned around and shouted, 'i'm not f**g moving you bitch...', and they proceded to have an argument, with the other woman calling the poor mum alsorts of names. All during this time, people were still getting onto the bus and sqeezing past and knocking the poor mum's pushchair and the other woman would not move (even though she could). In the end, the mum said, 'well, I'll have to get off the bus then as there's not enough room'. Then people wouldn't get out of her way so it was really difficult to get off the bus as well. The bus driver reluctantly gave her her ticket back, but did nothing about the other woman who had been so unhelpful and rude in the first place, or stop more and more passengers from getting on, even though there clearly wasn't enough room.

There isn't really a point to this, but it really upset me. I don't understand why people are so unhelpful, especially to mums with pushchairs. Why are buses designed so badly, so only 1 mum can comfortably travel with her baby?

OP posts:

BooMama · 30/09/2004 17:14

god, some people really depress me...
Why do they have to be like that?

fisil · 30/09/2004 17:16

I can't believe that young woman!

And there is no point complaining. After a bus driver refused to let me (pg) & ds (1 year) on because he had shut the doors, in spite of the fact that he had already reopened them once for two able bodied men in their early 20s, and the bus was virtually empty and he sat right by me for a full 3 minutes because of traffic (and it had started raining between them getting on and him refusing me) I spent ages tracking down a complaints number (the driver on the bus I eventually caught told me there was no such number even though it was on a notice above his head!) and then when I got through they told me it was the wrong number and I had to ring another number who told me the only way to make a complaint was in writing. At that point I gave up!

Hulababy · 30/09/2004 17:17

I am just so glad that we have trams that I can easily use. When we move we won't have and I dread using a bus with DD, and potentially a baby as well. Think I'll have to tae thec ar into town.

Marina · 30/09/2004 17:20

At the risk of generalising, I use buses when out with our buggy a lot, and the most inconsiderate other passengers ALWAYS seem to be young women on their own. Men the same age, whom you'd expect to be clueless are normally quite good at budging up.
I have to be honest though - you get so much flak and tutting if you can't get your buggy out of the way, that in her position I'd have let the bus go and waited for the next.
And as for the bus design - I guess the answer is that you can fit four theoretically paying seated passengers into the space occupied by two buggies, plus any number of "standees". Makes me mad too, HelloMama.

eleanorsmum · 30/09/2004 17:28

Just recently there was a case in the village not far from me where a mother was asked to leave the bus as her baby was crying and was "disturbing the other passengers"!!!!!!!!!!!! She had to walk 4 miles home! Are we mums just not supposed to use public transport or what!

ripley · 30/09/2004 17:50

I have made a complaint in the past about a driver who had first of all stopped the bus right in front of the bus shelter (another badly designed thing) so that there was no possible way to get my buggy on through the front door. I motioned that I was getting on at the back door and when I had done he started yelling and screaming at me and even swearing. I just yelled at him head to head, as was another woman with a buggy who got on right behind me though the same door. I called the local bus depot for that particular bus company and they disciplined him. They asked me to put it in writing as well, but to be honest I just forgot to do and by the time I got around to it it was too late to make an impact. Best thing to do is to look in the phone book or call directory enquiries. I did see that same bus driver quite a few more times and funnily enough he didn't acknowledge me but he ALWAYS stopped in the right spot.

I do think that this country is really child un-friendly andalthough I'm saddened by what you said I'm not surprised. What astounds me is that when the media confronts these bus companies they defend the bus driver some of the time (like when that mum had to get off because her child was crying).

ripley · 30/09/2004 18:03

BTW always found the same thing about young girls. Sooo selfish and never give up their seat. Having kids has made me so much more bolshy when it comes to things like that because it makes me so mad. Used to work on Oxford street and found on the crowded tubes it was the young men and older women who gave up their seats. You could stick your bump inches from those young girl's faces and they wouldn't blink!

moomina · 30/09/2004 18:36

Agree that it always seems to be young girls who are the worst. What a bitch. Then again, I got on the bus today and there was a young guy, maybe 20-25, lying on the shelf bit by the door where you put your bags etc. No-one could put anything there - a woman got on just after me with a folded buggy - did he move so she could put it down? Of course not. And did the driver do anything, even though he could clearly see what the guy was doing? Course not. Tw*ts one and all.

katzguk · 30/09/2004 18:40

hulabay - don't worry sheffield buses are well designed for pushchairs, space for two and drivers more than ready to dive in and help. I had a women who refused to move from the buggypark on the bus (the rest of the bus was pretty much empty). So i asked nicely if she'd move so i could get the pushchair in, she wouldn't bus driver said can't start the bus until the pushchairs out of the isle so she huffly moved to allow the pishchair in and then went to sit back down!!! like i was going to leave my baby in the buggybay with her!!

mostly here people are great on buses helping you on and off and moving, i have to say the worst offenders for not moving are OAP's, generally they refuse, and then start moaning to one another in my day we could take our prams on the buses we walked everywhere!!

katzguk · 30/09/2004 18:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

handlemecarefully · 30/09/2004 22:49

Blimey - what a sad and sorrowful tale. That poor mum, I can't believe everyone was so inconsiderate to her. These things are generally isolated incidents though aren't they? I usually find people are helpful towards me when I am out and about pushing my buggy, i.e. opening doors and the like.

Yesterday however I was in a cook shop with my 5 month old and 2 year old both of whom started crying (2 year old was tired and past nap time and 5 month old had dirty nappy) and some miserable old tosser said loudly to his equally sour faced wife " its like a menagerie on here". I can't think why I didn't respond to this but just let it go - usually I would give the offender a sharp rebuke.

MeanBean · 30/09/2004 22:55

That's why I bought a car.

Awful that I had to, and it costs me a fortune to run, but I'd stop eating before I'd stop buying diesel. I just didn't go anywhere with the children before I had it, because it was physically impossible. It makes me so angry to read stories like this and then hear some idiot prate on about getting people out of their cars. What, so they can be treated like shit by bus companies? I don't think so.

tabitha · 30/09/2004 23:09

I think bus drivers are divided into two types: the really nice, helpful, cheerful ones (Probably the minority) and the miserable, unhelpful git ones.
Years ago when dd1 was about two we went by bus to visit my in laws. I didn't bother taking her buggy because at that time, you couldn't take a buggy onto the bus without folding it up. As we were trying to walk up the bus to a seat the driver drove off, causing her to fall and, quite understandably, become upset. I complained to the driver, in probably not particularly polite terms and he threatened to call the police because I had sworn at him (tbh I didn't say anything particularly outrageous)
I think that things have improved (a bit anyway) where I live.

stupidgirl · 30/09/2004 23:37

Like Meanbean, having experienced this kind of thing I resolved to learn to drive. I think I only went on the bus once with 2 children, and that was enough. I had a toddler and a small baby in a buggy. We were somewhere near the middle of the bus and had to get to the front to get off. I had to lift the buggy (with dd in it) over the legs of a couple of selfish b***s who couldn't even move their legs to let me past. Grrrr.

It went against all my environmental beliefs to start driving, but I wouldn't be without my car now.

Original poster

HelloMama · 01/10/2004 22:15

have calmed down a bit now! I too bought a car as soon as we knew we were expecting DS. Everyone said 'why do you need a car in London?' and its exactly for this type of reason! This is the first time i had taken a bus in ages and I found it so stressful that it will be a while before I take one again. Even though I believe in congestion charging in principle, I think mothers should not have ot pay it, until transport in London is more mum-friendly - I mean - how many of you are able to get a tube regularly with your pushchair and shopping and everything else we have to cart about!?

grrrrr, maybe I haven't calmed down afterall... !

OP posts:

Tommy · 02/10/2004 16:49

I was on a bus with DS1 last year - 9 months pregnant and with him in a buggy and I HAD TO STAND - no-one offered me a seat!
Now , on a bus with both of them I sing "Wheels on the bus" very loudly several times over just to annoy the other passengers

MeanBean · 02/10/2004 16:52

Great technique Tommy. My DD is also very good at having raging tantrums, pointing at people and saying "I wanna sit down, I wanna sit down, I wanna sit down!" on the few occasions we do use public transport (I didn't train her to do that, but if I'd thought of it I would have done - and thought I'd pass on that useful tip!)

tallulah · 03/10/2004 12:11

The new park & ride buses in maidstone have a space each side for pushchairs/wheelchairs, so can take 2 without folding. The older ones had 1 space that took out 5 seats. A while ago I watched 3 elderly people settle themselves in the buggy space of the older-style bus, depite there being a buggy behind them in the queue. When the mum got on they didn't move. I nearly said something to them but decided against it because she didn't. I was amazed by their attitude & you could see it hadn't even occurred to them (the bus was empty BTW).

OTOH I have been on a really crowded P&R with people having to stand & a family (mum grandma & grandad) with an older toddler got on. They left the empty pushchair up, blocking 2 seats, & each of them INCLUDING the TODDLER took a bus seat. That really winds me up. If the child is not going to sit in the pushchair then it should be folded up when the bus is crowded. I think it's that sort of attitude that makes people "funny" about buggies on buses.

I only ever travelled on buses a few times when mine were tiny, including having to fold down a big pushchair with raincover & sleeping baby- what a nightmare!

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