Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Other subjects

Friendly neighbour?

13 replies

Grassynoel · 18/01/2020 17:49

So I've been living in my neighbourhood now 14 years, my neighbour two doors up maybe 12. I knew the family before they moved in, nice people. I might chat to them if I meet them on the street occasionally, but usually we just say hello and move on.
Over the past few weeks the man (not too much older than me) has been messaging me on weekends, usually around midnight. Hi, how are you kind of thing. I reply briefly and leave it at that. I had a missed video call last week and decided he'd been hacked.
So last night I had the Hi message again. I was fully prepared to message his grown up daughter to tell her dad he'd been hacked but by his next message I knew it was him. Nothing out of the way, just that his wife was in bed, nice to relax at the weekend, how are the kids?
Am I looking too much into it? I kept my side of the conversation very general. Went straight to talking about dh and the kids but he kept replying. I said I was going to bed and this morning I had 3 further messages asking had I gone to sleep.
It's very random to me and I feel a little uneasy about it but on the other hand I can't see how all of a sudden he'd be interested in me.
Should I just ignore him or do you reckon he's just bored and looking for a harmless chat?

OP posts:
needanewnamechange · 18/01/2020 18:13

Definitely ignore
Sorry but you don't message someone late at night when your wife has gone to bed for just being friendly.

cakeandchampagne · 18/01/2020 18:33

Ignore the messages, and keep any conversations brief.

CassidyStone · 18/01/2020 18:42

Don't reply to any more messages. Read them, so that he can see you've seen them, but no more responses. When you see him face to face, simply say hello and nothing more. Sounds like he's chancing his arm with you. Perhaps you've inadvertently given him the impression you like him. Some blokes are so thick they think a friendly smile is a come on.

Grassynoel · 18/01/2020 19:41

Oh God, I hoped you might say he's just being friendly. I'm trying to think but I know I definitely haven't given him cause to think I like him. I barely see him.
I told dh about the messages last week and he said he must have been hacked. I told him this morning about last night and he said don't message him back but hasn't said anything else about it. I don't want to make a big deal of it with him. I'll follow your advice and not message him further. I'll let you know if he messages tonight.
Thank you so much for your advice!

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 18/01/2020 19:43

Oh for god's sake, his poor wife. I wouldn't answer him at all. In fact you should ask your husband to text back, "This is OP's DH. Why are you messaging her?" Sad to say this is the quickest way to get him to stop as at the moment he thinks it's a secret between you two.

katy1213 · 18/01/2020 19:48

Ignore him. Then when you see his wife, say, "How is your husband's insomnia? When he messages me at night, I feel so sorry for him that he's bored and can't sleep.'

Grassynoel · 18/01/2020 21:00

Oh girls I wish I had the nerve to do that. I'll go about as normal for now. I'm hoping I don't hear anything tonight. The video call thing is weird isn't it? He knows I'm here with dh and the kids, he must know dh would ask who I'm talking to. He must be drinking or something.

OP posts:
CassidyStone · 18/01/2020 22:52

He's got the impression from somewhere that you're up for it - God knows why, but he's obviously misinterpreted ordinary neighbourly friendliness for barely disguised lust Grin

Ignore the messages and ignore him, other than to say good morning/good evening. Don't engage in any conversation other than that. Maybe even pretend to be talking to someone on your phone so you don't have to speak to him at all. If he persists with the messages, you're going to have to tell him to sod off.

Grassynoel · 19/01/2020 20:11

Thanks so much girls, I'll follow your advice. Thankfully there was nothing last night. I'll keep you posted if there's anything next week. Hopefully not.

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 19/01/2020 21:47

Why can't you just block him? You really have to be tougher about this sort of thing - he thinks you're up for a cosy midnight chat with him and you need to either block him or tell him straight. Does your husband know about the messages?

Grassynoel · 20/01/2020 20:21

You make a good point Hollow, I'm a bit too nice I think. Don't want to fall out with neighbours sort of thing. He's the one instigating it so yes, I'll have to grow a pair and block him. Though I'll see if that's the end of it now first. Any messages next weekend and I'll do it.
Yes, I told dh about it. I even showed him the messages to get his take. He said he was probably drinking and to ignore and not answer him again.

OP posts:
whydoihavetogothroughsomuch · 24/01/2020 19:17

Sorry this is weird behaviour. I would stop replying or reply in the morning saying soz was spending time with my family. He might get the hint if that's what you say each time.

Grassynoel · 25/01/2020 20:24

Just to update, I've had nothing since so I'm hoping he's just had a rough few weeks, had a few too many and has copped on. Hopefully!

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page