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Married life - is this normal

2 replies

majormumma · 04/01/2020 14:17

I’m recently married to a man I’ve been with for just over 5 years, we also have a LO who will be 2 in March. I know it’s totally normal but since LO our relationship has gone very downhill. We have good time’s but we have lots of arguments, disagreements and I find myself wondering if “this is it” quite a lot. I know my husband loves me, he works hard, he’s a great dad albeit a bit too over protective. I often feel slightly neglected which I know sounds pathetic, he snaps at me sometimes and I feel rubbish, he’s not particularly tactile apart from when he wants something lol and all the little things that he used to do he no longer does. The main thing I miss is us having a laugh, having fun together (I don’t mean like going out and getting pissed). I regularly suggest going into town, going to museums as a family or doing different activities - he doesn’t want to, worries about the journey, is too tired etc.
A lot of the time things just feel hard work, I don’t know if he’s ever actually that happy (I think his idea of happiness is sitting in front of the TV all day)
My mum passed away when I was 22 so don’t feel like I have anyone to ask, is this normal? Should I just start doing things me and LO? Am I trying hard to live in a Disney film lol? I see other couples and they just look so much happier !!
I guess I feel like a failure, I’ve tried to speak to my husband but he thinks I’m moaning and “never happy” so have stopped saying anything now. Not sure if this is a premenstrual rant but just feeling crappy!!!

OP posts:
MikeUniformMike · 14/01/2020 16:21

It is probably quite common OP.

Melyn · 15/01/2020 00:05

I don't want to use the word "normal" as everyone's different, but it's common, it could be depression or it could be parenting is stressful for him. Have you had any date nights recently? It's always good to remember that before your DD was born, you were a couple and it's important to maintain that relationship. Xx

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