What would you do if ...........

stickynote · 28/09/2004 18:42

Oh my goodness this is a difficult one. On the one hand, you're removing their independence and making their life much more difficult but on the other, you could be preventing a serious accident. If it's really the kind of illness that isn't going to improve, I'd be tempted to sit down with the relative (or theirotherhalf or carer) and gently point out that it's affecting their driving. I'm not sure I'd "shop" them without trying this first.

Good luck.

Original poster

Mosschops30 · 28/09/2004 18:47

Message withdrawn

OP posts:

KangaMummy · 28/09/2004 18:53

one of my RL friends had this dilema with her dad as he couldn't turn head to see traffic. She reported him to DVLA and then it went to his GP for a check up that he then failed. He was already over 70 though when you need to sign a form to say still healthy. I think that is correct.

I don't think she told her dad seh was reporting him luckily her mum drives.

GRMUM · 28/09/2004 19:05

mosschops30 I went through this during the summer with my father - his problem was/is sight-he has virtually lost the sight in one eye and the other is deteriorating. He was insisting on driving - going to the supermarket sunday afternoon when there was very little traffic.... He kept saying that he could see well enough to drive but when he was a passenger with me he would say things like "oh I didn't see those traffic lights" when we were literally next to them. I eventually got him to see reason by pointing out the problems he would have with the insurance company if he had an accident. His doctor also told him at the beginning of September that he shouldn't be driving any longer. In answer to your question yes i would have reported the situation (maybe to his doctor first)

Thunderbird1 · 28/09/2004 19:17

I would try to talk to them first & get them to see the problems that they might cause, to try & get them to think of the possible consequences. Is there another family member that could drive them about or buses etc. ??

hana · 28/09/2004 19:23

my grandfather ( 89) still drives around despite being told my everyone that he shouldn't be driving anymore. Don't think that anyone has called the Cdn equivalent of the DVLA, but it's so dangerous, for everyone on the roads and his (5th!) wife. Married 4 years ago

Blu · 28/09/2004 19:28

Do people still have to have a medical certificate after a certain age?
I remember this because my Mum called my 90 year old grandfathers GP and said 'if you give my father another certificate I will hold you personally responsible for any accidents he may cause'.
And she told me to do the same if she was a danger in her own old age - which I would.

MeanBean · 28/09/2004 19:39

Sounds harsh, but I'd report them. You'll feel dreadful about it, but you'd feel an awful lot more dreadful if they killed or disabled somebody else's child because of their inability to drive. Or if they killed or disabled themselves. As long as you can offer them support by offering to drive them regularly (if that's possible) or getting together with other relatives to have a rota or something, then it won't be the terrible cut off from mobility that you fear for them. Concentrate on how you and the rest of your family can support them when they are not driving.

jampot · 28/09/2004 19:49

Not entirely sure it would be so easy to just pick up the phone and report. Earlier this year I found out my inlaws used our address (previously posted about this) as their English address (they live in Spain). One of the things they used it for was their car insurance. I have made a point that anything that comes to our address addressed to Mrs "Jampot" I open. Anyway one of the things was their car insurance copy proposal. On it not only did they declare they lived at our address but they also declared that they both hold a current valid British driving licence and that they are both in good health (FIL has angina).

However when my sister had her Mercedes 320 (quite powerful, she's inexperienced driver) one of the front tyres had a "flap" of rubber where she had kerbed her car. She and her dh refused to get it changed so I did report her to the Police as she did tend to drive fast and I thought she was being irresponsible.

Flik · 28/09/2004 20:01

is it anominous (you know what i mean ) when you report some one for things like that?

Lisa78 · 28/09/2004 20:16

Yes, you can advise the DVLA and they won't reveal your identity. But some medical conditions are automatically reportable eg epilepsy, by the GP

I would give the DVLA a ring, if only for your peace of mind - look how many RTC's there are every day and how many people are injured.

This tells you more

DVLA

WideWebWitch · 28/09/2004 20:54

I'd report it too.

suedonim · 28/09/2004 22:29

Okay, a cautionary tale coming up. My SIL's mother insisted on driving even though she was was really not up to it. She said it was okay as she never drove more than a mile or two to her local shops. About 18mths ago she lost control of her car on the way to the shops and crashed into a lampost or similar. Luckily, no one else was involved. Unluckily, SIL's mother died a few days later in hospital. It wasn't a pleasant ending for an elderly lady.

hoxtonchick · 28/09/2004 22:34

I have diabetes & so need to get a new licence every 3 years. It's a bit of a pain to do so, a few forms to fill in, but I totally understand the reasons why it's necessary.

I would definitely contact your relative's GP mosschops30, they will take it from there.

essbee · 28/09/2004 22:37

Message withdrawn

Debbiethemum · 28/09/2004 22:56

Can I post another cautionary tale, even though I know none of the people involved.
Where my friend now lives, there was an horrific accident, an old man drove through a red light - with lollipop lady and killed her and some children on the way home from school. It turned out that the driver had been having blackouts recently

californiagirl · 29/09/2004 03:35

When we did this with my stepfather we went through his Dr. who told him not to drive and reported him, both. Then I'm afraid we took away his car keys and "loaned" the car to a needy friend (who actually bought it and we put the money in SF's bank account, but he was more willing to accept the idea that he was just helping out). If you are dealing with somebody with mental issues just revoking the license is not enough, even if they agree they may forget so you have to make it at least v. difficult to get to the car.

Clayhead · 29/09/2004 08:42

Yes.

I did this for a family member, contacted the DVLA and his GP. We had tried and tried to get him to give up the car voluntarily. He was over 70 but, in reality, a lot of GPs just sign the form and send it back without an indepth check. My relative was a menace to other road users and pedestrians and we would never have forgiven ourselves had he had had an accident and hurt or killed someone.

It was very difficult and felt awful though. However, I'm so glad I did it.

Clayhead · 29/09/2004 08:43

ALso agree with californiagirl, we had to get the car keys out of the house and then remove the car ASAP too, he had promised not to use the car before and forgotten (not his fault, due to the nature of the illness).

fio2 · 29/09/2004 09:00

my gran reported her husband because she thought he was unsafe to drive, he never found out but he had his lisence taken away. i think it is always anon anyway

Cam · 29/09/2004 09:14

I know a woman who is a driving instructor (works for her husband's franchise) who has developed attacks of what she describes as "giddiness". She has told me that during these attacks she is unable to walk and has to grab hold of her husband for support. The attacks last all day and she has had them for the last 3 months at the rate of approximately one every 1 or 2 weeks. She has been to her GP; referred to a consultant for ear, nose, throat (nothing found); has had a brain scan - I don't know the results. BUT I do know she is continuing giving driving lessons. Surely she shouldn't be?

Pagan · 29/09/2004 09:45

I used to work beside a guy who really couldn't see, to the point that he associated people with where they sat in the office. One day I had answered a call at my bosses desk when he came into our section and started talking to me assuming I was my boss (who was about 30 years older and several sizes bigger than me). To sit beside him whilst he drove was a terrifying experience and everyone said that he shouldn't have been driving. I worked for a local Council and eventually someone shopped him (not me though sorely tempted) and he was banned from driving. Then of course, all those who complained about him before, were the first ones to comment on what a shame it was that he wasn't allowed to drive anymore and imagine someone having the nerve to shop him.

This really p**ed me off and I reminded them that what if he had crashed into their car and killed some of their family.

This guy really should not have been on the road. My first experience of his driving was several years before he was finally banned so imagine how much his sight had deteriorated. Given that it's a relative you are concerned about, perhaps you could have a quiet word with them.

NomDePlume · 29/09/2004 10:43

I agree that you should do something and that perhaps having a word with his GP and contacting the DVLA directly would be a good idea.

Like you say, Mosschops, you wouldn't let this person transport your DD around. If the person is a genuine risk to ther drivers then they must be reported, for their own good as well as that of the general public. I know that it might seem harsh, but the alternative could well prove fatal

I would do it, even if it was my DH, and I would hope that he would do the same if it were me. My motoring independence is NOT worth a life.

Tortington · 29/09/2004 14:47

yes absolutley they may kill my kids

kimi · 29/09/2004 15:18

tricky, but yes i would report it.
My brother in law drives far to fast and i wont let my kids in the car with him.