Really need some relationship advice girls and guys

[mumofonexxx]

Okay so brief background history.
I have a daughter who is 14 months who was born premature at 35 weeks and weighing 4lbs. She is now thriving and absolutely perfect.
However.
I am due to marry her father in February after nearly 3 years together.
He has quite a checkered past, which I always believed he had put behind him. However over the past few months things have unfolded and I have found out he has lied to me about almost everything. He was txting and meeting a girl behind my back when I was heavily pregnant, doing drugs (which I despise!), going out not coming home, booking a lads holiday behind my back etc.. the list goes on. Even little, every day things that you shouldn't lie about.
So in all I have recently learned he is a compulsive liar.
I can't marry him. I don't trust him. I find myself crying more times than I am happy and I don't want my daughter to think that's a healthy relationship.
But my mum (who is a retired widow loosing my dad 8 years ago) has paid for everything. Used most of the savings she has because she, like I, had no idea he was this other person. I don't want to marry him but I don't want to break her heart of have her lose the money she has put in. Please help. What should I do. All comments welcome xx

The money is spent either way. Do you really want to enter a legal contract with a liar? Someone you distrust?

It’s a real shame it got this far before you saw the truth, the only thing that could make it worse would be to carry on and marry him.

Walk away. Hold your head high.

You would be foolish in the extreme to marry him, knowing what you now do. Can you negotiate with any of the companies concerned for refunds?

I think it would break your Mum's heart if she knew that you had tied yourself to a drug using liar just to avoid upsetting her.

The money has been spent. Hopefully your Mum will be stoical about its loss, and simply be relieved that her daughter has had a lucky escape.

Why would you let your mum use her savings? I wouldn't have accepted that.
No point marrying for a stupid wedding party! I would break up, get as much refund as possible and pay my mum back.
You should not have accepted the money anyway.

Considering you don't know the family background it's pretty judgemental of you to comment that. I am an only child. My mum has no other family, doesn't go out, hates spending money, just saves and saves. We almost stopped speaking because I wouldn't accept the gesture of her money, because in her eyes, I am her only child, and in her own words, nothing would make me happier than to see you get married'. She has given us £1,000 to the wedding as it's very low key. We aren't having an extravagant ball, just a small intimate gathering with our close family and friends. So before you comment on anyone else's post and upset them, maybe you should think there may be more to the story.

To my mum it isn't a 'stupid wedding party'. Its a reasons for family members who lives miles and miles away to come and see her, as they selfishly only do for a wedding or a funeral, so yes, to her, it means something extra special.

I completely appreciate all your other comments, and I agree with you. I just know how much it will upset as she has been on at us to get married forever :(

Sack off the bloke and the wedding. If you can't get your mother's money refunded at this stage, use whatever is paid for as a family party instead - no need for a wedding (or a funeral) just a chance for a get together.

Sorry you're going through this

What @hefzi said.

Imagine this was your daughter.

Have a lovely family party for your Mum instead, and thank your lucky stars that you have found out about this before you married him.