To baby or not to baby...that is the question

[Bella123]

I've just registered and really not sure if I'm on the right er 'thread' but I can't work out where else to post this.

I need some advice. I'm soon to be 35 and am with with a lovely lovely guy who is 42. I've never been broody and for a long time, said I don't really want children (my partner however, does). Yet as the big 3-5 is erring ever nearer, I'm having to give it all some serious thought.

My feelings are still the same and I don't certainly don't hear the sound of a clock ticking - but as I have always said, its not so much the family I don't want (I love my family and love being part of a family), rather its the 'baby' thing I don't want. The thought of no sleep, tantrums etc from the under 5's puts the fear of god up me, but actually, the 5+ years, I think I would love.

I guess the question is, do yo go ahead with having children if you are not broody? Or do you need to really want children to help you through the testing first few years? Has anyone out there got pregnant and had children without particularly wanting them first and if so, how did it turn out? My sister thinks that hormones put pays tho this and once the bond happens, your smitten...but its a bit of a risk isn't it?? What happens if the bond never happens?

Any thoughts, views, opinions gratefully appreciated.

Cheers,

Bella....the undecided

How about adopting a 5 year old?

IMO, if you are given a choice, then I think you should have some feelings of wanting a baby to help you through the first year or so but then obviously many people have unexpected pregnancies and deal just fine with bringing up their babies.

It is true, sleepless nights are hard to deal with, crying babies are the last thing you want when you are exhausted and stressed yourself. Even though I did want children I never realised until I actually had my baby that it is probably one of the most selfless acts you can do for another but at the same time it is the most wonderful, fascinating journeys to go through.

Unless adoption is an option for you and you definitely want a family then you will have to go through the baby phase, yeah it is tiring but it may not be as bad as you think?