South Asian Diaspora Mothers

[Amma]

Most mumsnetters sound like lovely women, and I think the site is useful and friendly, and I still visit it. However, I sometimes feel left out that it can be so traditional English in tone, eg attitudes towards bedtimes, co-sleeping, diet, unsupportive extended family, etc. If any other South Asian diaspora mothers feel the same, I recommend the brilliant South Asian Women's Network site. There is a really good children's book list, with books to explain to children that they are not the only vegetarian, not the only one of their religion or culture, etc. There are also some really interesting articles about mixed faith weddings (bit late for most of us!) and families. It is also quite feminist and political. Can any of you recommend other women's or mothers' sites, which are more diverse?

Amma, could you let me know what the website for the South asian Women's Network is? thanks.

Hi Sis and Amma. I think the website is this one here ? It looks really interesting, especially the fact that only women are allowed to subscribe. I bet that throws up lots of debate!

thanks scummymummy, I've started the slightly more complicated than mumsnet subscription process...

Dear Sis and Scummymummy,
I'll look out for you Sis on the mailings. At the moment there seem to be more US SA diaspora members but I bet there are loads of SA diaspora mothers in the UK too. I wasn't a member then, but I think Sawnet did a democratic vote before becoming women-only. The mailings are quite intimate and maybe excluding men has encouraged more debate about gender politics.

Scummymummy, (mixing up threads) I have no idea if this is for cultural reasons or just me, but I really love Sheila Kitzinger, Janet Balaskas and Nicky Wesson, all of whom have had several children. I didn't have an orgasm in labour (!) but I did feel very satisfied and womanly about my natural birth. I know you have twins, but don't know what type of labour you had, and bet mine would have been different with twins. Sheila Kitzinger's illustrated "Breastfeeding" book was what kept me going with breastfeeding at the hardest times, and I always send a copy to friends who are pregnant. I went to Janet Balaskas's waterbirth workshop, and did go on to have a waterbirth. I thought she was an inspiring and sexually charismatic woman. She also had a very attractive much younger husband who presented the workshop with her, which adds to her status as appealing role model! I went to a talk by Nicky Wesson during pregnancy and used her book "Labour Pain" which is now out of print. She advocates natural birth, but is pragmatic, and has herself had 5-6 different birth experiences, including caesarians. Not surprisingly, I really hate Gina Ford!

For security reasons, I've updated identity, but I have actually met both of you before, and look forward to seeing you again at the Xmas party.

I'm going to visit the SAWN site, Amma, as although I am British, I've just moved to Indonesia and it's obvious that parents do things differently here. I'm of the co-sleeping, baby-led feeding school of thought, too and I'd like to learn more.

Hi Amma,
I think I can guess who you are and it's nice to see you back- I was thinking about posting a missing persons message for you.

To be honest, I don't mind Sheila K all that much! I was just trying to be democratic and slate everyone as I've stuck to slating Gina Ford- whom I really don't like either- in the past!

I would have loved to have a natural birth- I didn't feel very satisfied or womanly during my labour and definitely would aspire to that next time. To be fair to Sheila I believe that she herself has twin daughters... I think that her arguments about the medicalisation of childbirth are spot on as well and I think it's much, much worse for twin pregnancies right now. I felt completely pushed into a corner with no real choices from the moment they spotted a twin pregnancy. Lots of hospitals in the US routinely book a c-section for twins and I think it's going that way here too. I was informed that as a "high-risk" pregnancy they would insist on an epidural from an early stage because of the likelihood of a c-section being needed, labouring in water- which was very attractive to me also- was out of the question as was a home birth- though I wouldn't have been too keen on that tbh.

In retrospect I think I should have been more pro-active and insisted on trying things more naturally... my early labour was spent mostly in the bath and went just fine- I was dilating fairly quickly and coping with the pain. I think I should have just stayed there instead of going along with their epidural just in case procedure, which eventually became a c-section accompanied by a big bleed (I've since read that intervention often leads more intervention...) I'm just hoping that next time- if there is one- I have a singleton and a few more choices (though my twins are certainly worth it!). If I do I certainly won't be disregarding Sheila, Janet et al.

And SK's breastfeeding advice is actually much closer to my own experience- I was lucky in that breast feeding DID make me feel satisfied and womanly and proud that my body was able to nourish and comfort two babies at once.

Hi Suedonim,
Haven't really caught up with you since you moved but I've been looking out for your posts as usual. It sounds really exciting. Hope everything's going well for you and the family.

Hi, Scummymummy, nice to 'see' you. I've been around on Mumsnet a bit, once I got the old internet working! We're settling down okay -the girls started new school yesterday - so far so good. I'm missing an awful lot about home at the moment, and my two boys. But we're going home at Christmas. You probably don't want to know this but it's less than 4 months to The Big Day!!

Hello Amma, nice to see you back (assuming you are who i think you are...).

hi there Amma - if you are who i think you might be - glad you are back.

Just to say, nice to be back too, and am not being unfriendly or avoiding posting, because am not really back and still travelling a lot. Hope to see you later and find out how you have been.