My MIL and I have q. a strained r'hip and now she's retired I'm panicking! After the birth of our 4th baby recently she obviously wanted to come and see baby and the other children. But what annoyed me was that she told us when she'd be coming without asking if that was okay date-wise with us and didn't say how long for. She was here 7 nights which nearly killed me! Even with my own parents 7 nights is too ong for a house guest I think. She had also invited her partner and her 30 yo son to come fo rhte wk. too without asking us but fortunately they couldn't get leave. Can you imagine having 3 guests for a wk with 3 los and a 2wk old baby. Anyway, my concern is that now she's retired she'll be inviting herself up for a wk. at a time. She lives in Sussex and we live inNOtts so it's a 4hr or so journey. But I think that 3 nights - at a stretch 4 - is reasonable. How do I handle it if when I ask how long she intends to come and stay she says 7 nights? She is easily offended and gets weepy. She gave DH a really hard time on the phone on the day DD was born because he asked her to not come Sat but wait till Sun morning - he had tears etc down the phone - jjust what you need after a night of no sleep and new baby being born. When they did come her partners 1st question was what's for lunch and given we had a 2 day old baby i thought it was inconsiderate not to offer to help out with food etc. And they stayed drinking wine until 10ish - DH and I had gone to bed by then..
I don't want to be insensitive or to prevent her seeing her grandchildren. Just not 7 nights in a row. We can't work out why she feels the need to assert herself so forcefully in terms of visiting. I think she thinks my parents see more of the children and stay for wks at a time - which they don't. Anyway, how would you handle this? By the way she doesn't get subtle hints - DH tried that and in the end had to bluntly say that she was not allowed in the house until the Sunday.