So what happens when you like the mum, but don't like the kid particularly

[Twiglett]

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Hmm - always a difficult one! I would still have them round but make sure both children are not left on their own and when her child misbehaves (or yours!) make sure you tell him that his behaviour is not acceptable. I know its hard - but this way she will either take the hint and start doing it herself or she will take umbridge and not come to you again. If she starts making sure he behaves himself, well and good, if she decides not to see you again - you have to say its really for the better, if she ignores it - you'll have to decide whether its worth the visits - I know how stressful if can be! On the other hand she may be waiting to pour her heart out about her 'naughty' boy - good luck!

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A 3 year old running off in the street?! OMG! Even though she's been through a hard time unless she gets him under control now times are going to be even harder - is she actually there when he's hitting? what does she do/say?

My daughter had a similar problem when one of her group's child was biting. The mother was lovely (but ineffectual)and the child seemed to bite every child in the group except my grandson. Some children were bitten several times over weeks and I was appalled that nobody had made any serious representations to the mother - or indeed chastised the child (it was the old 'going through a phase' thing again) - and they kept putting their own children in 'biting' line so as not offend the mother! Pleeeease! Well the day came when dgs was bitten and that was the end of that particular visitor!
If parents are unable or unwilling to take responsibility for their own children its not really up to you and your ds comes first - not this lovely 'friend'.

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Your ds may not be perfect (who is?) but the difference with your ds is he's learning life's rules!

Mmmm not sure if ds will approve but here's a clue she has 3 ds's (there must be loads on here with 3 ds's - ha, ha!)

Sorry Twiglett got my ds's and dd's mixed up! (I have 2 ds's as well!)

PS - I think it is a bit much to put on a 3 year old (to be perfectly honest I think I'd be telling him to hit back - its a tough old world out there!)

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Twiglet - tough one. How much do you like the mother?

We had similar situation. DD loved playing with this little boy but he could be really naughty and right pain in the .... Mum and I got on like house on fire. My biggest worry was DD copying his behaviour - which of course she did at times. Mother knew her DS had certain "problems" which she did try to sort out. I resolved to explain to DD that just because xxx did whatever she couldn't and that she knew that xxx was silly sometimes - silly being the least offensive word I could come up with.

When in my house or my care I would treat him like her - no messing around on my turf (makes me sound like drill sergeant . It seemed to work. The family now live abroad but has just visited. The boy has plenty of respect for me and behaves well in my presence (what you do round your house is none of my biz). He has also changed full stop - obviously nothing to do with me.