Will I ever not be busy?

[Jennisaurus]

This is a bit of a whinge, sorry!

I feel like I never ever stop. Even sitting here right now I feel bad because I know I need to vaccum the house, make the bottles for DD, and do some reading for work.

I am so tired all the time, and mostly I do fine, but sometimes not. I sometimes start work early in the morning and so by the time I get home at 3 I have worked a full 8hr day and then I have to play with my DD and do house stuff for another 5 or so hours. I know thats lazy, and I feel guilty but sometimes I feel like I have my day over twice. My DD still doesn't sleep through the night (she is 10mths old) so I never really get a full nights sleep, I know that as her mum I have to get up with her and I don't really mind because I know she needs me, but it gets really really tiring. Like last night I went to bed at 11, E woke up at 1 and went back down at 2ish then i got up at 5 with her and worked a 12hr day.

My DH does a bit, but as I have posted about before he does not do enough, but we are working on it!

I feel so busy, I hardly ever get free time just for me because I am either working or looking after E. But then I feel bad because I make a choice to work, and I know its mean to feel bad about look after my dd. Its not even like I have this really tough life. Lots of people work full time and have a baby.

This is a bit long and rambeling! Sorry!!

Jenni
I think the 'always busy' syndrome was the biggest shock i had after having my first child (now have two - nearly 5 and 2 yrs).

It does sound like you and your DH need to share the burden more (and you say you are working on it...). I worked full time again ajust five months after both births and to say I was knackered all the time would be a complete understatement....

I'm afraid the old adage is also true - it DOES get better....

jennisaurus - i know how you feel. that used to be me when mine were little. I still feel i don't have time to do anything but in reality I have - its v hard working esp with baby. It does get better xx

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Bless, we all go through the 'when will I have finished all the jobs to do'...sometimes you feel as though you are the only one doing anything, maybe you feel your doing everything...try not to over do it, set things to be done for certain days, you have a daughter sit, play and enjoy her, never mind the cleaning, people should understand if the hoovering hasn't been done or the dishes still need doing from breakfast, perhaps because you are doing everything, your other half thinks you can cope, some people need to work for their own sanity, just because this is your choice it doesn't mean you have to manage all the chores aswell, if you don't manage to do everything then you may be offered help by your other half...you never know...hope everything gets sorted. best of luck..

I always feel like a really bad mum when I do this, but could you consider taking a day or half a day off work, leaving dd in nursery and having the time to yourself? Might help recharge the batteries. Last time I had a day off like this, I spent the whole day gardening - bliss. But anytime when you can say 'this is my time and I can do as much or as little as I want' is rare - and might make it easier to cope with the rest of the, frankly, drudge (sometimes). And a little bit of time for just you might just be balancing up for your 'carrying' your dh, if he's not pulling his weight - he doesn't even have to know about your day off I guess?

This is why I get frustrated! i know its my own fault for being so stressed about everything .

I hate being one of those people always on the go, when I know I am just making my life harder by trying to do everything. Urgh.

Time to lower your standards. You won't look back on these years and say Thank God, I had a clean house. People with small children are not supposed to have really tidy houses. I sit here now with laundry to sort, clothes to get ready for tomorrow, a shower to have, windows to clean [and I'll have to do them soon, we can barely see out, as ds3 keeps nicking the sponge to wash them}, summer clothes to pack away for next year, the list, believe me, is endless.

I was always amazed that my SILs houses were always so immaculate, and ashamed when they would drop in and our house would be upside down, with clothes and toys on the floor.

I still don't know how they do it, and now I no longer care. We have fun. Nothing is ever pristine, but to be frank, there is more to life.

You work hard enough at your paid employment. Try to take it more easy at home. Home is supposed to be the fun part.