I think you're very honest, nutty - a lot of people wouldn't admit feeling that way. I don't have a lot to add to what's already been said - I just wanted to chip in with my support. You are so obviously a great Mum, and love all your children to bits. I think the way to go, as others have said, is to fake it - and after a while you won't be faking anymore. Tbh, I sometimes do this with dh and after a while I convince myself that I really like him Just by making an effort to be particularly nice, and interested in what a person is doing, you start to notice that you feel better towards them. And the bonus effect is that, by being especially considerate towards someone, you bring out the best in them.
I meant to watch Little Angels tonight after I read in Radio Times what it was about. Although I don't feel my bond with ds1 is any less than with his younger brother I am far too hard on him (he's almost 8) and expect too much of him - he is such a good little boy that I sometimes forget he is just a child, and not perfect. I do seem to spend a lot of time shouting at him So I will try too...