Chid not making friends at school

[emmamama]

My ds turned 4 at the end of August and started Reception class a week later. He went to a different nursery so doesn't know any of his classmates. Last night he got upset and told me he didn't have any friends, although he says has asked to join in with games at breaks he told me they won't let him.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

I'm afraid at his age I would say that inviting the children round for tea on a one-to one basis is the most likely to get fast results!

I'm considering this but he won't tell me the names of any children and i don't know any of the mothers. Not a good start to school life.

emma don't you meet any of the mums at pick up/drop off times?

I have started talking to a few other mums but they too seem to be in their own cliques ( is that the right word?). I'm now feeling that because I'm not in a group of mothers, ds is suffering. Might this be the case?

Do all the other children know each other?

Strange that they don't let him join in, IME boys are far easier to integrate than girls as they tend to play team games more like football or tag. Have you managed to find out from him what games the boys play and make sure he knows the 'rules'. Often the younger ones in the year will be dismissed as being babyish if they don't understand the games being played IYSWIM.

TBH its very early days yet - plenty of time for him to find his feet. My youngest has just started too, but has already managed to infiltrate hte group which the teacher described as 'the typical boys'!!

You are a part of that clique by the very fact that your son shares a class with them. Start asking them how their child is getting on.

Thanks soapbox, I'll speak to him again tonight to find out a bit more. It is early days you're right and it may be something as simple as not knowing the games they're playing. I just wish I could watch to see what he's doing!

It just crushed me when he came out with this as he had lots of friends at his previous nursery and it was never an issue.

Thanks Carla, I may find out he's not the only one.

my ds wwas young for his age and still has no one best friend but rather a range give it time
he will

My ds had (has) terrible problems when he started school (and he is now in Yr 4). He knew no-one and I knew no-one as we had only just moved there. He was also one of the youngest in the year which probably made a huge difference and does with your ds too. It is early days for you both but I would advise that you don't let this run on too long. Try to speak to other mums, difficult though it can be, and, in a week or so, if nothing has improved, see his teacher and ask her to suggest some names of potential friends - she will have an idea who your son spends time with in class and which boys/girls would be most receptive of new friendships. This is part of her job so don't feel it would not be appropriate to ask her. Reception is as much about socialising and fitting in to school life as it is about academic work.