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Original poster

Not sure how I feel - DH been offered a great chance at work......but it co-incides with me feeling quite cr*p about my ability......

29 replies

TheQueenOfQuotes · 04/08/2007 00:29

to cope with all 3 DS's (especially DS3) on my own.

He's been asked (for the 2nd time) to start doing some training at work. He was asked end of last year but turned it down because I was pg with DS3. Basically he could be sent anywhere in the country for up to 1 week to train new TV Licence Officers. The other thing is that they're looking for new "stand-in" managers for when managers are off sick/on leave, again this could take him anywhere in the country for up to 1 week at a time.

Both of these opportunities would give extra money (the training is £200 flat rate, plus all expenses paid, and the stand-in manager is paid at the managers rate!) plus be an excellent stepping stone into a management position himself.

I know he's very keen, and I'd like him to do it to, as it could mean that sometime in the future I won't have to work. HOWEVER, I've been having a crisis the last few days about how I cope with the DS's on my own, particularly feeding/settling DS3.

I've told him to go for it putting on the "well my mum mananged for 6 month stretches on her own with DB and I" face "so I'm sure I can cope" - but I don't know if I really can.

I don't have any family close by (nor any of his), but I do have some friends who I think I could call on to help if I was really struggling but can I really cope?????

OP posts:
Tortington · 04/08/2007 00:31

you'll cope. it will be hard at first but you will

presumabley he will have more time in a block with you - 1 week training...xxx days at home?

Original poster
TheQueenOfQuotes · 04/08/2007 00:34

not really no - as he'll still be doing his "normal" job when there's no training to be done. It would however "ease" the pressue on his sales targets as a) they reduce the target figure for bonuses and b) he'd already have got £200 "extra" so slightly slower sales wouldn't matter so much,

OP posts:
Tortington · 04/08/2007 00:35

how old are your kids?

Original poster
TheQueenOfQuotes · 04/08/2007 00:35

DS1 is 7 next month, DS2 will be 4 in November, and DS3 is 10 weeks old...

OP posts:
Tortington · 04/08/2007 00:36

4 year old oing to school in sept?

unknownrebelbang · 04/08/2007 00:36

You'll cope. You just will, I'm sure.

The phase with DS3 will settle down.

I've got three lads (now 12, 10 and 8) and sometimes (lots of times) I used to wonder how I'd get to the end of each day, let alone the end of the week, but we all got there eventually.

You can do this.

Original poster
TheQueenOfQuotes · 04/08/2007 00:37

no Nursery, morning only

OP posts:
Tortington · 04/08/2007 00:39

anychance you can pay for two afternoons a week for the 4 year old?

Original poster
TheQueenOfQuotes · 04/08/2007 00:40

no way - too expensive, if he wasn't getting his free LEA place there's no way he'd be going to that nursery costs too much .

OP posts:
Tortington · 04/08/2007 00:50

oh well, just a thought

i'm sure you will be fine. get a routine going - you might not want him to come home

Original poster
TheQueenOfQuotes · 04/08/2007 00:52

lol - I suppose - mind you I know what I'll be tempted to do with DS3......have him in bed with me so I can bf him at night rather than get up and give him a bottle as DH does

OP posts:
Tortington · 04/08/2007 00:56

sort yourself out - be gone self flagulation.

if the house is untidy - fuck it. mini fridge by the bed ( LORDY i wish they were invented 14 years ago) bottle warmer.... the works.

routine is key - bedtime is a must. 4 & 7 yr old in bed by 7pm. hopefully your baby will be sleeping through soon.

good luck.

Tortington · 04/08/2007 00:58

i dont mean to pontificate.

my dh worked nights at security - slept all day

i had 3 under three. twin babies.

i thought i was the shittest mother in the world - but looking back - i was more than fab - and you will be too, just remember yourself - give yourself some time of an evening and be firm about it

moondog · 04/08/2007 00:59

Let him go and grit your teeth.Worth it for all of you in the long term.I remember you posting when you were on the bones of your arse so obviously things are improving.

Original poster
TheQueenOfQuotes · 04/08/2007 01:00

thanks - you know what MD - I may even do some "jigsaws" when he's away

OP posts:
moondog · 04/08/2007 01:01

Juist don't post about them for Gawd's sake.

Original poster
TheQueenOfQuotes · 04/08/2007 10:26

ok I try not to

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NKF · 04/08/2007 10:37

Use some of the extra money to hire some help. Good luck.

Original poster
TheQueenOfQuotes · 04/08/2007 10:40

actually extra money would be used to pay of our debts quicker. We very nearly went bankrupt 2yrs ago, and although things are now (generally) comfortably managable we've still got LOTS to pay off.

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chonky · 04/08/2007 10:43

I'd go for it QoQ. You have struck me in the past as being a strong lady, so I'm sure you'll do fantastically . Well worth it to lose the debt angst.

Original poster
TheQueenOfQuotes · 04/08/2007 13:00

QoQ chokes on her coffee at the thought of being described as strong lady (you sure you've got the right person )

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peanutbear · 04/08/2007 13:04

you will cope its jut hard my Dh starts nother job in Septemeber 3 weeks on 1 off its really scary though to think about 3 kids family 100+ miles away but it will all work out in the end

PotatoOfDoom · 04/08/2007 13:05

I agree with chonky actually so either we're both mistaken, or you are

PotatoOfDoom · 04/08/2007 13:06

I meant you are a strong lady.

Sorry original post came across as rude

Original poster
TheQueenOfQuotes · 04/08/2007 20:02

nah think you're mistaken . Gawd it doesn't take much to get me crying

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